Saturday, May 7, 2011

IGN's Top 100 Comic Book Heroes of All Time: 100-81

In 2009 or so, the comics department of the popular video game website IGN.com put together a list of their Top 100 Comic Book Villains of All Time, and have finally followed up with the vastly less well considered Top 100 Comic Book Heroes of All Time. There is much here to mock and debate (in that order,) so I'll have to do it on an installment plan. Watch the video if you like, but expect a poverty of speech content...


100) Groo

I've never been that big on Groo, having read him in short burst here and there, but he's long-lived and somewhat iconic.

99) Wasp

I've always found Janet Van Dyne to be one of the least impressive or progressive super-heroines around. She shops, she sidekicks, she gets slapped, and she virtually never works solo.

98) Nova

This puts the "no" in "Nova." A Bronze Age Green Lantern knock-off who has not been redeemed to the point of inclusion.

97) Adam Strange

This also puts the "no" in "Nova," as the model for '50s sci-fi heroes should never be close enough to Richard Rider to smell his stink.

96) The Falcon

Despite my love for Cap, I have never been a fan of Sam Wilson. The guy is the official "safe, clean, well-spoken" token black sidekick of your Uncle Tom. Weak powers, skeevy backstory, bland animal-themed name, and utterly dependent on the contributions of other heroes. With heroes like the Falcon, African-American youths aspire to be Spider-Man.

95) The Savage Dragon
Surely a controversial choice, but he's an entirely solo-creator-generated hero with nearly twenty years of continuous publication and a universe of characters built around him. Also, stuff happens in his book, and his son may well become one of the great black heroes the Falcon will never be.

94) Supergirl

This strikes me as a major snub. Supergirl is a world recognized brand with strong multimedia penetration. Her identity may be vague within comics, due to massively contradictory interpretations, but this low ranking is horsepucky.

93) Donna Troy

Placing Donna Troy ahead of Supergirl is such a colossal blunder that it derails any credibility the list could have ever had. Every flaw Supergirl has is compounded by a factor of ten by Donna Troy, with infinitesimal relative recognition. She's such a dire Jean Grey clone, she even wants for a proper codename. Try asking for a Donna Troy Halloween costume. Name five Donna Troy villains. She literally has the single most convoluted origin in the history of comics, and one of her greatest claims to fame was marrying among the sleaziest supporting characters in the medium and battling their infant offspring. I personally kind of like Troy, but she could be nominated as one of our worst heroes ever... and yet, still better than Nova.

92) Usagi Yojimbo

I'm not into anthropomorphics, but I respect the longevity and regard afforded to Stan Sakai's creation.

91) Cerebus

Usagi Yojimbo is to Cerebus as Captain Marvel is to Superman. Afford respect to both, but Cerebus is one of the titans of independent comics.

90) Ghost Rider

The cool biker icon, and central figure of one of Marvel's best-selling '90s franchises. Still, his best comics are kind of embarrassing to actually read, and he's no Supergirl.

89) Moon Knight

Screw to the U. I have an inexplicable fondness for Marc Specter for the exact same reason everyone else does: he has a cool costume. Ghost Rider looks cooler, and has a far more substantial mythology (re: any.) Moon Knight is a couple or three tiers below being the poor man's Batman. He never rocked a mullet like Nova to the best of my recollection, but he's no Wasp, either.

88) She-Hulk

Shulkie is actually pretty great-- one of the most successful and distinctive "girl versions" of a name brand super-hero. I don't complain about her rank in general, but the order of super-heroines on this thing is wack.

87) Renee Montoya

She's a lesbian and a Latina, both rarities in mainstream comics, and about the only example to appear in cartoons. Still, I resent the hell out of her for taking over the role of the Question, and she's never carried more than a mini-series.

86) Michonne

At this point, Michonne is probably my favorite The Walking Dead character, and the closest thing to a hero (or rather, anti-hero) the book has. Still, it's an ensemble cast, and in any other context, Michonne would reek of cliche.

85) Black Lightning

What is it with bunching up like characters? Space dudes, kewl doods, heroines, unfunny animals, and now the negro couple. While he will never live down the Afro-mask or being replaced by Black Vulcan, Jefferson Pierce will always be DC's first (and still the go-to) lackluster bid at multicultural sensitivity. Watch the video commentary on IGN, and the two white guys acknowledge by omission that even they only threw him in out of guilt.

84) Ka-Zar

This one is Carrot Top plastic surgery level cringe-inducing. A sorry Tarzan rip-off from the the Golden Age (swing a dead cat...) who has had several cult favorite welcomed series that died early deaths, and a lot of unwanted guest appearances. A good guy to help cheer the Falcon up.

83) Superboy

This would be okay if they were acknowledging the whole Superboy legacy, but applied specifically to "Connor Kent," it stings. Thanks undeservedly good creative teams and close ties to the Superman family of comics when they mattered, the Vanilla Ice of comics managed a 100 issue run before Geoff Johns finally managed to do something with the character that didn't elicit a response of "ew."

82) Eric O'Grady (Ant-Man)

The Irredeemable Ant-Man was awesome, but also short-lived with negligible impact.

81) Black Canary

Respect. One of DC's earliest and undeniably their best Golden Age heroine, Dinah Lance managed to kick the star of the strip she debuted in out and take over from Johnny "Footnote" Thunder. The Silver and Bronze Ages were far less kind, turning her into a victim and accessory for Green Arrow. However, she now stars in the longest lasting super-heroine franchise comic of all time not called Wonder Woman.

Monday, May 2, 2011

JLA #96 (Early June, 2004)



In the Batcave, Alfred offered Bruce a Pennyworth family heirloom, a pure silver cross blessed by the Archbishop of Canterbury. You'd think Alfred would know Batman is just going to mess it up, especially as soft as silver is, and that the Dark Knight really ought to have plenty of his own damned vampire killing silver. This isn't his first rodeo, y'know?

The Flash unnecessarily helped J'Onn J'Onzz to his feet, as he explained he had not been attacked, but merely left holding down a subplot for three issues. Green Lantern John Stewart was also present, and unsuccessfully tried to analyze the telling stones.

The Atom woke up from his beat down, and was met by another batch of insectoids in regal gear who prostrated themselves before one from "the world beyond the world!"



Faith was tied to a chair in a darkened room. Just as her telekinesis freed her, Crucifer showed up, and mesmerized her into submission. The vampire then indulged in a superhuman nibble.

Larry and Rita reported back to their chief on Key Mordaz. A stripped down robot with a visible human brain named Cliff joined the conversation.

Batman had feigned being shot to draw in the detective for a punch. The cloaked cultists turned out to be part-bat vampires. I kind of hate when wooden stakes instantaneously slay vampires, which is pure Hollywood, and it's only that much worse when the vampires run around with enchanted spears featuring wooden handles. Way to supply Batman the means to kill you effortlessly. One got away, but the Caped Crusader was able to use the cross to heal the detective from his vampire bite and subsequent subjugation.

At Castle Crucifer, Nudge consoled her caged ape Grunt while Vortex talked her into an origin flashback. She was a teenage runaway who ran off to join the circus... in the year 2004. She was the only handler able to sooth a four-armed ape, but she was still made to use her powers as a fortune teller, as well. Mysterious benefactors called in a debt with the circus owner in exchange for Grunt the ape, and Nudge used her powers to force them to take her, too. They were taken to Florida, where the chief was none to happy with the extra passenger, and used technology to prevent her from "persuading" anyone on the island. With time, Nudge managed to coax Larry into taking an unauthorized getaway to Miami while Nudge and Grunt escaped. Crucifer was waiting for them at the mainland, "Like he knew we were coming."



Superman and Wonder Woman flew to Castle Crucifer, whose owner knew Diana's mother, Hippolyta. The Amazing Amazon was surprised by this, but not nearly as much so as being punched in the back of the head by Superman. Diana recovered better than just about anyone, then fought the Man of Kneel for several pages. Nudge saw this as her chance, and beguiled Superman long enough for Wonder Woman to floor him and impale Crucifer with a thrown sword. Superman also made a swift recovery, while Crucifer extracted the sword from his chest. "You cannot win! If Superman falls, if I fall, the League remains! They'll find a way to stop you!" Crucifer tapped Diana with the sword so hard that she came up off the ground before lying deathly still upon it. "Whatever. Pity you won't be around to see it.

"The Heart of the Matter," part three of "The Tenth Circle," was by the famous X-Men creative team of John Byrne and Chris Claremont, joined by the inks of Jerry Ordway. It's a good looking book, but I can't believe I'm still dancing around the reveal of the second team as the classic Doom Patrol. It's really blatant at this point. I could have really done without the Nudge and Grunt flashback, not to mention the characters themselves. I have to admit that the Superman sucker punch was pretty amusing, especially the cartoon stars and "KLUDD!" Pity Wonder Woman once again needed to grab a big metal phallic symbol and stab somebody with it rather than use her powers and non-lethal weapons. I bet the Lasso of Truth could have been loads more effective, especially with all the random crap vampires are vulnerable to. Has anybody ever tried kryptonite?

Saturday, April 30, 2011

DC Powerhouses by David Michael Beck

Click To Enlarge


David Michael Beck made a big splash with his work on the Devil's Due G.I. Joe comics about a decade back, but he seems to have moved on to more lucrative commercial art outside our field. This piece featuring Wonder Woman, Green Lantern Hal Jordan, Superman and Batman was posted at Comic Art Fans in 2010. Check out his website here.

More Beck
Martian Manhunter
Wonder Woman
Zatanna

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

DC/WS DreamWar #4 (September, 2008)



Back at the Carrier, Superman helped the Justice League of America remember who they were, then began working with the Wildstorm protagonists to help wrangle the other murderous DC super-teams. The Doctor (with telepathic tag along Martian
Manhunter) metaphysically learned from his predecessors that Chimera was the trailer park kid from WS Earth that could add to reality from his imagination and a volume stolen from the "mother of all libraries," the Athenaeum.

Gen13 was attacked by Raven and Changeling from The New Teen Titans. The Atom was sent to rein them in, but was knocked out before he could reveal himself.

Deathblow, the WildC.A.T.s and Stormwatch fought a war with the Legion of Super-Heroes. Only Bouncing Boy seemed to recall the Legion's prohibitions against killing, and with the help of the Flash (and only after having been stabbed by Warblade,) honor finally prevailed.

The Doctor spoke with Chimera on another plane, learning his stepfather had killed his mother and made him do... "stuff." The kid murdered the man, and figured out a way to "piggy-back" so he could watch the s.o.b. go to Hell. En route, he found his way to the Athenaeum, and stole the DC Comics volume from the library. However, Chimera had used heroes to do the work of villains, which wouldn't stand once their realization in the Wildstorm reality was complete. After all, they were heroes. Chimera recognized his error.

Apollo and Midnighter were waiting outside of "Chimera's" trailer in Arkansas when Doomsday burst out of it. "I knew we shoulda wasted the little #&@% when we had the chance!

DC/Wildstorm: Dreamwar part four, "Resurrection!" was by Keith Giffen, Lee Garbett and Trevor Scott.

ElseWednesday featuring Wildstorm!

Monday, April 25, 2011

JLA #95 (Late May, 2004)



Superman was bitten on the neck by Crucifer, only to have his alien blood spat out in disgust. "He may look human, but the taste of him is unspeakable... Foul!" Crucifer instead ate one of his followers, before sending the Man of Thrall on a mission...

Green Lantern John Stewart hit paydirt while patrolling Baltimore, finding another van full of cloaked creeps. One, the blue-skinned Vortex, managed to knock Stewart out of the sky with a vertigo scream. The Emerald Knight managed to encase most of the group under a ring construct, but the persuasive girl was without, trying to nudge John into letting them go. "You playin' with my head, missy? ...In a word--no." While Green Lantern had more willpower than Superman, the girl was distracting enough to allow Vortex to smash the field. Both Stewart and Vortex were left the worse for wear, so Nudge helped her friend into the van and sped off. Stewart tried to follow, but it was "an effort just to form coherent thoughts," and a giant hand grabbing you from behind never helps. The giant shrank down to normal size, and she assured Green Lantern she and her leather masked companion were not enemies. The duo argued that Stewart had interfered with their sting operation, and the male released a skeletal energy being to trail the van. The girl carried her friend's limp body to safety, and politely asked that Stewart leave this matter in their hands. The energy being managed to tag the van with a tracking device.



Green Lantern reported to de facto leader Batman at the Watchtower on the moon, where the Dark Knight Detective managed to pull a residue sample from where the giant girl had grabbed Stewart. Meanwhile, Wonder Woman delivered ancient Amazonian scrolls that revealed their crusade against a cult of vampires thousands of years ago in Greece. The warriors successfully exiled the bloodsuckers after a final, terrible battle. The recently deceased Queen Hippolyta had been the last living Amazon to engage the cult, whose x-symbol represented the tenth circle of Hell.

The Martian Manhunter knelt down on a laboratory floor, calling out mentally to the Atom, who had vanished into Manitou Raven's stones. The Tiny Titan fell through an unknown space for some time, before landing gracelessly but unharmed on a crystalline surface. In the distance was a tower of similar material. From out of hidden tunnels in the ground emerged bipedal, somewhat insectoid green brutes. The Mighty Mite evaded them for a time, but was eventually encircled and beaten down.



Superman delivered the unconscious and shabbily dressed Faith to Castle Crucifer before being dispatched to the moon. At the Watchtower, Wonder Woman was struggling with the allegorical manner her sisters had written their scrolls, unable to decipher the means by which the Amazons defeated the cult. "Gods forbid my ancient sisters write short, declarative sentences. Kal-El talked Diane into taking a break, and when she wasn't looking, ignited her scrolls with heat vision.

In a Gotham City alley, the Batman found a police detective trying to wipe away the Tenth Circle symbol from the murder scene. The detective drew on Batman, while two cultists approached from behind. A bullet flew through the Crusader's cape, and he went down...



"The Enemy Within," part two of "The Tenth Circle," was by the famous X-Men creative team of John Byrne and Chris Claremont, joined by the inks of Jerry Ordway. Both the Atom and Green Lantern's dialogue was inappropriately informal and even irritating for the characters. Between Stewart's will and Crucifer talking up Faith and Wonder Woman being his near equals, Superman really looks like a punk. The backdoor pilot that is the second super-team is becoming increasingly obvious in identity. Finally, Atom aside, this has been a vampire story, which is something Claremont could rock hard with the X-Men and Bill Sienkiewicz, but not with John Byrne and the freakin' JLA. Besides, the X-Men never needed to revive a second old school hero team over vamps, at least before their latest series somehow managed to drag Spider-Man into the muck.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Direct Currents: April 2011



John Constantine To Return To The DC Universe

I don’t know where. I don’t know when. I don’t know how.

BLOGS


The Absorbascon
DCU Travel Posters: Atlantis
DCU Travel Posters: Ivytown
Middletown Travel Poster

Amazon Princess
Donna Troy by Bubba Shelby
Chrissie Zullo

The Aquaman Shrine
Super BB - 1978
Superheroes Margarine Ad - 1978
Roxanna Meta is AquaLass!
Scion is Mera!
The Justice League by Bob Strang
"Strength In Numbers" - 1996
Justice League Puzzle - 1988

Atomic Surgery
Prisoners of Gravity (1993): The Sandman Interviews
Happy Birthday To the Periodic Table

Being Carter Hall
Read: Hawkman v.3:no.4
Read: Hawkman v.4:no.19
Read: Flash Comics #19

Comics Make Me Happy!
Martian Manhunter redesign by Joel Ojeda
Never pass up an opportunity to poke fun at Batman...
The Crocheted Manhunter
It's takes a little guts....

Cornered
Michael Lynch corners GREEN LANTERN
Calamity Jon Morris corners SUPERMAN

Diana Prince: Wonder Woman
2011 Custom Life Size Wonder Woman Statue
JLA/WildC.A.T.S. "Crime Machine" (1997)
Justice League of America #0 (September, 2006)
Wonder Woman in Sensation Comics #1 (January, 1942)

Diversions of the Groovy Kind
"The Man with an Inbuilt Panic Button" from Atom and Hawkman #40 (September 1968)
Black Lightning in "The Last Hideout" (from World's Finest #259, July 1979)
Remember When...Hawkman's History Could Be Summarized in Four Pages? (World's Finest #261, November 1979)

Every Day Is Like Wednesday
Suicide Squad, starring Ronald Reagan
Is this every Zook and Cryll shared appearance from the past ten years...?
March 23-30

Firestorm Fan
Firestorm commission by Kevin Maguire
Firestorm Fan Returns – April Fool’s Hijinks!
Firestorm by Ethan Van Sciver – Possible Future Cover?
Project Rooftop Firestorm by Stefan Grambart
Jim Lee redesign of Firestorm costume from 2003

Girls Gone Geek
Sartorial Smallville: A Critique
Friday Favorite: Damian

The Idol-Head of Diabolu
O’Neil & Netzer Announced for RETRO-ACTIVE 1970s Martian Manhunter!
Manhunter from Mars Annual #12 (1995)
"1967 Manhunter from Mars Movie Monty Moran Promotional Still"
"1967 Manhunter from Mars Movie Mister V Promotional Still"

Jim Shooter
Mort Weisinger, mean as a snake at his nicest...
I Aimed to be Better Than the Worst
Growing up with The Legion of Super Heroes
Secret Marvels/Marvel's Secret
A Leap of Fate

J.M. DeMatteis's CREATION POINT
BLAME HELFER
BLAME LEVITZ

Justice League Detroit
2010 Vixen by mic?
2010 C2E2 The Vixen Convention Commission by Eric Canete
2009 Morbidly Obese Vixen Commission by Derrick Fish
2007 San Diego Comic-Con The Vixen & Captain Atom Cosplay

Kevin Nowlan
Superman

Once Upon A Geek
My New Blog… B’wana Beast’s Blog

Pappy's Golden Age Comics Blogzine
Blackhawk #47, 1951

Power of the Atom
2005 Crisis on Infinite Earths: The Absolute Edition cover by George Pérez

Silver Age Comics
Mystery In Space #81: Another Viewpoint
Atom #7
Is Barry Allen A Pervert?
How Old Is Superman?

Subject : THE SUICIDE SQUAD (Task Force X)
I believe in miracles . . Amanda Waller, you sexy thang
Killings my business & business is good
Amanda Waller by returning Portuguese artist Aliera
Pimp Daddy Darkseid
Proper disposal of a pedophile 101 with Catman & Deadshot

Supergirl Comic Box Commentary
Supergirl #62
Original Supergirl #62 Cover? Editted
Supergirl Shrine
Review: Legion Of Super-Villains One Shot
Review: Legion Of Super-Heroes #11
George Perez Hero Initiative Justice League #50 Cover


Weekend Review Section 12/31/10


Wednesday Is Any Day For All I Care by Professor Frank Diabolu

Comic shop comics by J. Caleb Mozzocco

Comics Of The Weak by Tucker Stone

The Buy Pile by Hannibal Tabu:

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

DC/WS DreamWar #3 (August, 2008)



In Siberia, Stormwatch and the Legion of Super-Heroes had a brutal confrontation.

The Amazons of Themyscira launched an attack on the vampire nation from Wetworks.

The Justice Society of America continued their assault on Tranquility, Oregon. Grifter gunned down Dr. Fate.

Batman, Superman and Green Lantern launched an attack on the WildC.A.T.s headquarters. After a lengthy battle with Zealot, the Dark Knight died by her sword. This shook Superman to the core, as he realized something was very wrong when Green Lantern never mourned the death of his own best friend, Green Arrow. Kal-El reached out to Martian Manhunter's telepathy, only to have the Alien Atlas again assert that Chimera wanted the Wildstorm heroes dead. "Tell me who Chimera is, J'Onn. J'Onn?"

DC/Wildstorm: Dreamwar part three, "Mettle!" was by Keith Giffen, Lee Garbett and Trevor Scott.

ElseWednesday featuring Wildstorm!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

JLA #94 (Early May, 2004)



Manitou Raven, a shaman displaced three thousand years in time, cast telling stones in the Badlands. On the ground were traced circles with "x"s in them, and their effect was ominous. A flood of bat shadows enshrouded Raven, and carried him off.

Batman investigated the murder of a teenager in a Gotham City alley. He had noted a pattern of missing cases in other cities that disturbed him. Before her death, the girl had drawn a circled "x" in chalk on a wall.

In Metropolis, Superman spotted a robed cult filing into a van. When he tried to ask questions, he was attacked by a massive member that only grunted. Once the thug was down, a girl stood between him and the fist of Steel. Her words allowed her to take mental control of Superman.

In Keystone City, Wally West pursued the trail of missing children at Batman's request.

At the JLA Watchtower on the moon, the Dark Knight gathered Wonder Woman, the Atom, the Martian Manhunter, and the Flash to consider clues. The Caped Crusader had managed to find out that all of the missing kids possessed a metagene, and Princess Diana thought that x-symbol looked familiar. The group split up to pursue angles.

On the abandoned prison island Key Mordaz off the coast of Florida was hidden a high tech laboratory. A seated figure worked a computer bank and a headpiece that allowed him to track people with a metagene. His beautiful young assistant accused a third fellow concealed by a leather mask of allowing a particular person of interest to elude them while sneaking off to party in Miami. A fourth individual with a metal fist demanded to see some action. The seated figure announced he had found something...



Wonder Woman wanted to speak with Manitou Raven about the x-symbol, but he wasn't answering any pages. She rustled up the Martian Manhunter, who spoke with Raven's wife Dawn, and learned of his meditative journey to the Badlands. The two heroes searched the area, and found the point where Manitou had been taken. The Amazing Amazon saw the marks on the ground and signs of struggle. She intended to query the Amazons Archives on Themyscira about the symbol, and told the Alien Atlas to inform Batman of their findings. She hoped a telepathic link to Raven could be established. "Can you not sense it, J'Onn? This is ancient work. And unspeakable evil!

The cultists' van pulled up to a creepy mansion a couple of hours outside Metropolis. The girl led Superman out on a psychic leash, and introduced him to Crucifer, a rather dandy vampire. The girl didn't want to see Superman hurt, but Crucifer had his own influence working. The vampire expected to find the Kryptonian delicious as he sank his fangs in. The girl ran off, and was followed down into her cellar of self-pity by a blue-skinned boy in a skull cap.

The Martian Manhunter brought Manitou Raven's telling stones to the Atom, and when conventional technology failed to detect anything within them, the Tiny Titan shrank down to explore close up. The Mighty Mite vanished into the stones, as J'Onn J'Onzz tried in vain to reestablish telepathic contact.

Faith, black-ops telekinetic, wandered the streets of San Francisco in a tie top shirt like Daisy Duke. She was abducted by the mentally manipulated Superman. At least she only spoke in Spanish when talking to a fellow Latino, but it still smelled like 1976 in there.

"Suffer the Little Children," part one of "The Tenth Circle," was by the famous X-Men creative team of John Byrne and Chris Claremont, joined by the heavy inks of Jerry Ordway. It was not magical. Byrne took top billing, so he presumably plotted the piece and drew it, and as a consequence he gets most of the blame. The story is uninspired and crowded, while the art looks more like Ordway hampered by Byrne's pencils rather than accentuating them. The script by Claremont is long, rambling and funky, with dialogue that doesn't sounds like it belongs in any of the known characters' mouths.

Friday, April 15, 2011

2010 Doctor Fate Commission by Chris Stevens

Click To Enlarge


Alakazam! Photobucket fixed my blog's images!

I personally didn't get enough use out of Chris Stevens' deviantART gallery last week, and went back for seconds. Normally I'd run one of this blogs regular featured characters like the Huntress or Power Girl, but this Hector Hall incarnation Dr. Fate was too cool to pass up.

Chris Stevens Commissions

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Great Comic Book Heroes: Captain Marvel & The Spirit



"The problem with other superheroes was that the most convenient way of becoming one had already been taken. Superman was from another planet. One of the self-denigrating laws of all science fiction is that every other planet is better than ours... Superman had all other planets tied up legally. Those one or two superheroes who defied the ban were taken apart by lawyers (nothing as super as a writ)... The answer, then, rested with science... The Shield... Steel Sterling... Captain America... the Human Torch... And not only science... flying men, webbed men, robot men, ghost men, minuscule men, flexible-sized men -- men of all shapes and costume blackening the comic-book skies like locusts in drag..."

"Understandably, this Pandora's box of men-of-steel was viewed gravely by Superman... The most savage reprisals in comic books were, just as in revolutions, saved not for one's enemies but for one's own kind. If, for a moment, Superman may be described as the Lenin of superheroes, Captain Marvel must be his Trotsky." Jules Feiffer continued by describing the Shazam cast as "A Disneyland of happy violence," with Dr. Sivana singled out as "uncannily" resembling Donald Duck. "The Captain himself came out dumber than the average superhero -- or perhaps less was expected of him. A friendly fullback of a fellow with apple cheeks and dimples, he could be imagined being a buddy rather than a hero, an overgrown boy who chased villains as if they were squirrels. A perfect fantasy figure for, say, Charlie Brown."

Feiffer took issue with the magic word "Shazam," a damned thing which worked for none of Captain Marvel's readership as it did for Billy Batson. "I had a vague feeling Captain Marvel was making fun of me. More and more of his adventures took on the tone of parodies... I was not prepared for frivolousness on the part of my superheroes!" Feiffer couldn't have cared less when Fawcett settled a lawsuit leveled by National, who felt Captain Marvel too resembled their Superman, and took the hero out of the game. His interests had moved on to more brutal but sophisticated fantasies, produced by a creator whose Wonder Man had also fallen prey to very similar litigation.

"Eisner had come to my attention a few years earlier doing a one-shot black-and-white feature called 'Muss "Em Up' Donovan in a comic book with the flop-oriented title of Centaur Funny Pages... Heroes and readers jointly conspired to believe the police were honest, but inept, well-meaning, but dumb -- except for good cops like Donovan,who were vicious. Arraignment was for sissies: a he-man wanted gore... wandered outside the reach of the law, pummeled everyone in sight, killed a slew of people -- and brought honor back to Central City, back to Metropolis, back to Gotham... In those pre-civil-rights days, we thought of that as a happy ending..."

"Will Eisner was an early master of the German expressionist approach in comic books... The underground terror of RKO prison pictures." Eisner had begun at Fiction House with 'Muss "Em Up' Donovan and Hawk of the Seas before moving on to the Quality Comic Group, where he helped create most of their signature features. "He'd draw a few episodes and abandon the characters -- bequeath them to Lou Fine, Reed Crandell, others. No matter. The Quality books bore his look, his layout, his way of telling a story... His high point was The Spirit, a comic-book section created as a Sunday supplement for newspapers..."

"Just as Milton Caniff's characters were identifiable by their perennial WASPish, upper middle-class look, so were Eisner's identifiable by that look of just having got off the boat. The Spirit reeked of lower middle-class: his nose may have turned up, but we all knew he was Jewish... What's more, he had a sense of humor. Very few comic-book characters did... Spirit's violence often turned in on itself, proved nothing, became, simply, an existential exercise... The Spirit could even suffer defeat in the end... Not that he wasn't virile. Much of the Spirit's charm lay in his response to intense physical punishment. Hoodlums could slug him, shoot him, bend pipes over his head. The Spirit merely stuck his tongue in his cheek and beat the crap out of them... I collected Eisners and studied them fastidiously. And I wasn't the only one. Alone among comic-book men, Eisner was a cartoonist other cartoonists swiped from."

The Great Comic Book Heroes is available from publisher Fantagraphics Books and from Amazon.com in either the slim essay-only or original hardcover formats, the latter with copious Golden Age reprints.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

2010 Captain Marvel Commission by Chris Stevens

Click To Enlarge


Holy Moley! This dude can draw one of the most magnificent examples of the World's Mightiest Mortal I've ever seen! DC needs to get this guy on a faithful relaunch faster than we can all say "SHAZAM!" It's like Ed McGuinness with Jerry Ordway coming in to apply a wash. Chris Stevens' deviantART gallery is a must see!

2010 Chris Stevens Commission

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

DC/WS DreamWar #2 (July, 2008)



In New York City, Wonder Girl and Starfire attacked Gen13.

Within their rocket ship headquarters, the Legion of Super-Heroes considered how they were going to move against their foes. "Chimera Lad wants us focused on Stormwatch. The Justice League will see to The Authority."

During an interrogation aboard The Carrier, Cyborg told members of The Authority and the WildC.A.T.s that the heroes of the DCU had come to bring down all the crumb bums of the Wildstorm Universe. To illustrate the point, the Justice League of America teleported onto the ship and started busting heads. Martian Manhunter and Green Arrow gravitated toward the Carrier's power source, while Green Lantern, the Flash, Superman and Batman addressed Cyborg's captors. Jenny Quarx, The Engineer and Jack Hawksmoor escaped the ship through a teleportational door, but most of their cohorts were taken down. However, Green Arrow was killed in the confrontation.

Meanwhile, the Justice Society of America began systematically destroying Tranquility, Oregon.

DC/Wildstorm: Dreamwar part two, "First Strike," was by Keith Giffen, Lee Garbett and Trevor Scott.

ElseWednesday featuring Wildstorm!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

April Fool's Day Blogging



I've been kind of peeved at Google lately. A recent update screwed up my March Madness polls, my scheduled posts keep resetting to unpublished drafts, and even the words I type right now are the result of some coding snafu destroying my first draft of this paragraph. I'm going to go study this weekend, and offer this post recapping holiday shenanigans that never came up on my own Google Reader.

The Irredeemable Shag is usually the ringleader of these April Fool's goofs, and first suggested a 2011 edition in January. His mailing list then promptly forgot all about it, Shag included, or bowed out early. Out of the blue on March 19th, Boosterrific announced that he was going ahead with the plan, and several of us ostriches pulled our heads out of the sand and went, "Oh? Well, okay, I think I'll join you."

The premise this year was to convert your entire blog into something different, devoting it to some obscure property that you have an affection for. Shag of course went the most gloriously nuts by converting Firestorm Fan into B'wana Beast's Blog, dedicated to the curious prevalence of a virtual nonentity for forty years into an enduring cartoon guest star (Justice League Unlimited, Batman: The Brave and the Bold.) Shag created ten entirely new posts, including Why a B’wana Beast Blog?, B’wana Beast in Who’s Who 1985, B’wana Beast gets animated!, Best B’wana Beast Covers of All Time, B’wana Beast Action Figures, POLL: B’wana Beast or Freedom Beast?, B’wana Beast Cosplay at DragonCon 2010*, B’wana Beast Temporary Tattoo, Napoleon Dynamite’s Liger – B’wana Beast’s Greatest Achievement? and my personal favorite, the fan fictional B’wana Beast and Beta Ray Bill – Marvel vs DC Amalgam.
*Caution: May require Kleenex after viewing, regardless of gender

Boosterrific was the one bringing this back, so he sure as heck brought it, with Red Star Fire, the most famous Communist at DC Comics replacing the capitalist running dog Booster Gold. I adore old Soviet bloc propaganda imagery, so the design of the blog alone had me drooling. I don't know how long it will be up at 100%, but it should be accessible through the weekend. If not, the direct link to the permanent content is here.I very much approved of his offering the people a weekly poll to explain what their correct opinion should be, as it was pre-rigged.

Kelson's Speed Force briefly turned Cobalt Blue over: Cobalt Blue, Classic Rogue?, The Flash vs…Barry Allen? The Bronze-Age Origin of Cobalt Blue, “Seeing” Blue: TV’s Cobalt Blue Prototype, Flash Facts: Cobalt Blue, Cobalt Blue T-Shirt Available Exclusively At VA Comicon, Who Is Hot Pursuit, REALLY?

Liquidcross briefly lost the reins to the Indigo Tribe blog to Flash rogue Roscoe Dillon, who tried to prove Nobody Tops the Top. That is, until he found himself Dead and loving it.

Always handy as a bulking agent, I converted five of my own blogs, like Diana Prince as the New Wonder Woman into Wundercar Valkyrie!, dedicated to the Nazi aviation from '40s Hillman, '80s Eclipse, and '00s Moonstone comics. That one was mostly pin-ups and pieces from aborted coverage of one of her mini-series.

DC Bloodlines became Marshal Law's San Futuro Police Blog, revolving around synopsizes of the very mature and anti-superhero first six issue mini-series, plus a few extras. It's actually relevant, since DC (of all places) will be reissuing the series.

Power of the Atom was given over to Dreadstar & Company, a childhood favorite creator owned science fantasy series by Jim Starlin. That one was stocked with remembrances, pin-ups, and crudely glued together custom Overpower cards from when I was younger and even more poor.

I had already planned a fan fiction 1995 Manhunter from Mars Annual #12 and some new icons for the sidebar, but The Aviary of the Osprey kind of laid an egg in terms of raw material in replacing The Idol-Head of Diabolu.

I was running on fumes by the time Vibe's Beat Street Blog spun off from Justice League Detroit. That one was cobbled together, like many of the other blogs, from old crap on my ...nurgh... blog from when I did more there than comic book and movie review. Since I already cover Vibe's stories there, that one descended into music videos, pop-lock educationals, and a look back at 1983's D.C. Cab. Apologies for scrapping the bottle of the barrel on that.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

S.F.P.D.



Welcome to the city of the darkest, most sordid future, San Futuro, and the S.F.P.D. log of Marshal Law! During a land war in a South American jungle, the U.S. government finally manages to create actual super soldiers from out of old comic books. However, their minds are not so super as to withstand the horrors of war and the changes to their bodies, so they eventually return home broken men. One such individual was Joe Gilmore, who was filled with loathing of the "capes" that lured his generation into ruining their lives. Gilmore became the one "super hero" willing to turn against his own and police the mean streets of San Futuro as the city's sole authorized "cape crusher." Marshal Law has been published by more companies than virtually any other comic book character, and his next stop is DC Comics. If Watchmen was the Citizen Kane of comics, Marshal Law was the A Clockwork Orange by way of Full Metal Jacket. It is deeply, hilariously offensive, catharticly toxic, and not for younger readers. Stay a while to indulge in the spectacle, and then sample these other great blogs over the holiday weekend!

Firestorm Fan:

The Source for DC Comics' Nuclear Man

The Indigo Tribe:

Green Lantern Reviews & Commentary

Speed Force:

Following the Flash, the Fastest Man Alive

Boosterrific.com:

The Web's Number One Website of Booster Gold, the Corporate Crusader!

Power of the Atom:

Sometimes the Sword of a Tiny Titan, other times saluting the Quantum Captain.

Diana Prince as the New Wonder Woman:

Figuring the Amazing Amazon out one "Bold New Direction" at a time.

The Idol-Head of Diabolu:

A Blog for J'Onn J'Onzz, the Manhunter from Mars

Justice League Detroit:

Vibe! Vixen! Gypsy! Steel! Zatanna! Men Aquatic, Elongated & Batty!

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Posted by Diabolu at 12:00 AM

Sunday, March 20, 2011
Marshal Law #6 (April, 1989)



Marshal Law had the airport staked out for Buck Caine, strip searching suspects at gunpoint at his own discretion. The Public Spirit was likely wounded in his fight with the Sleepman, reducing his flying ability. After catching a decoy, Law knew his prey was nearby, and gave chase through an airliner graveyard. The Public Spirit was "pumping ions," using his powers in ways that temporarily increased his offensive capabilities, and swelling his body.

Meanwhile, SHOCC had recovered and partially revived the Sleepman, though Marshal Law had watched the waters where he sank for hours to insure his passing. Father Hood and Doc SHOCC expected he would have further use, but "at first Danny will have ze mind of an infant und need a new mother... Bring zem forward. I tried zis experiment on chimpanzees: I remove ze baby from its' natural mother at birth, to see which surrogate it would respond to... Soft Mother who is gentle und loving... or Wire Mother who is hard und cold, but ze provider of food..."

Marshal Law thought back to his time with Lynn, and reference she had for a college paper. "The secret symbolism of the Public Spirit. How he's really the ultimate phallic symbol of male power." Exploration of this notion-- combat heroes as sexual metaphor-- continued over the present action. Law recalled the aggrandizing Public Spirit bubble gum cards, contrasted against "Zone Cards," an underground affair that depicted the grisly truth of what happened during America's dirty super hero war. Joe Gilmore's childhood favorite was Public Spirit, and one had led him to the other. "I was five when he left for the stars-- I remember I'd wanted to wear my Public Spirit costume to school-- twenty-nine when he returned. But he never grew old. He was like the heroes in the comic books. Forever young. Like all those who died in the Zone. Forever young."

Marshal Law felt the Public Spirit had betrayed the American dream and the super heroic ideal, leading young soldiers to the slaughter by his example. Caine turned the example around, pointing out Law's responsibility as a role model for his son. Danny knew Marshal Law could never return the love of a born super hero, so he resolved the conflict by becoming the Sleepman to please his birth mother and surrogate father. Physically beaten down, Marshal Law flew into an impotent rage at the accusation, as his former hero continued the assault. "You wimp! You fairy fighter! Anyone can tell from looking at you, you're a faggot! A pinko! A leather-clad tinker-bell! That's what's wrong with this country today... The feminists and the pinkos and the faggots are trying to take over... spreading subversion-- like AIDS! Spreading perversion!"

Part of Caine's theory was confirmed when Danny, at Doc SHOCC's urging, chose his mother... "Ma... Ma... Marshal Law..."

Law managed to hit Public Spirit with a fear-inducing neuro-toxin. "The realization he was all washed up made Public Spirit go 'soft'. He seemed to shrivel up in front of me... Now I'd never dream of hitting a man when he's down... That's true, you know... Well, all right... it's partly true... Okay, it's a lie." The Marshal worked Caine over good, and was prepared to haul him in, when a sniper rifle spilled Caine's brains from out of his head. Commissioner McGland thought Law would be pleased, but "I was looking forward to the trial of this piece of shit... So people can see the lie... So it can't happen again." Alas, that would have been too much of an embarrassment, and McGland already had a plane crash cover story to insure the Public Spirit's continued legacy...

Marshal Law visited the grave of his girlfriend, who had written of him before she died as Public Spirit's Dark Star Nemesis. She had questioned what kind of role model this fascistic, sadistic, but potentially masochistic figure would be. Regardless, the future of super heroics was his...

Created and owned by Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neill
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Posted by Diabolu at 12:00 AM

Sunday, March 20, 2011
Marshal Law #5 (December, 1988)


The Sleepman was lost in a personal reverie in anticipation of his first meeting with Martial Law since his secret identity was revealed.

Danny Mallon was raised by his mother to hide his super powers and hate super-heroes, though he often failed at both pursuits. Danny would drape a curtain off his shoulders, and mother would paddle his bottom and call him "dirty boy!" She was highly manipulative, psychologically destructive, and set on using her son to avenge her dignity.

Even as a toddler, Danny had powers. In his teens, they prevented him from having sex with humans, but not fantasizing about it. His enormous penis proved a source of embarrassment when a daydream caused it to lift his desk. Like a Ditko character, shouts of "elephant's trunk" and visions of tape measures were all the anxiety Danny needed to self actualize. Ramos, a constant irritant, was murdered by ray blast under a bridge around October 4, 2008. Danny was finally ready for mother to tell him his origin story.

On learning his father, Buck Caine, had tried to murder mother and himself while he was still in the womb, Danny wanted the rewards he deserved as the progeny of the Public Spirit. "I'm a super hero... Where's my mansion?" Caine's crime could never be reported because of the inevitable SHOCC cover-up and dissection of Danny, so the pair lay in wait to take what they most desired in the future.

Danny became a computer expert, hacking SHOCC files to learn more truths. Doctor "SHOCC" Mendel's "hot-house" methods helped him turn embryos into future super children, with the consent of all-too-willing mothers. "Newly conceived embryos were washed from the womb, genetically reprogrammed with super physical characteristics, then replanted. My mother and father were among the early results." As time went by, Caine grew up, and helped "sell" super heroes to the general public. This led to eager young volunteers to become supers and fight in the Zone.

"Meanwhile, South America had conducted its own experiments in human engineering... As far back as 1979, Venezuela 'hot-housed' its entire 14 million population-- raising their mental skills... Other South American countries followed, hoping their 'super children' would find the solution to the continent's poverty. But when they grew up, many saw Marxism as the solution. South America exploded... The Zone began."

"The Big One" provided Danny with an excuse to play cripple, so that he would be above reproach when his intended patricide came due. As a secret policeman, he kept tabs on his returned father, and close proximity to personal hero Marshal Law. Danny also lusted after his father's new girl Celeste, which infuriated the sexually frustrated Virago, who demanded "I want you to kill her!" Danny practiced as Sleepman before the big kill. Danny wanted to confess his crimes repeatedly, but the timing was never right.

"I've rehearsed in my mind again and again what I was going to say to you, Marshal. Once you, too, knew I was bacteria. Now that moment has arrived. I hope you'll be tolerant enough to listen and not consider it too much of an imposition. You were always a very good friend to me. I realize I've let you down. Especially with Lynn. So I'd like to start by saying how sorry I am for what I did to her. I can't have given you a very good impression of me. But I didn't know she was your girl."

The Sleepman looked on as Public Spirit and Virago argued about old times on the beach. "Vi, have you forgotten how we were like brother and sister... before we were lovers. We grew up together... comforted each other when Doctor SHOCC was experimenting on us... I'd have never survived without you." Caine tried a bribe, but Virago wanted justice, with her son's help. "Bitch! Still trying to trap me! I'll shut you up for good this time!" The Sleepman only laughed, not lifting a finger as his father beat his mother to death.

Sleepman and Public Spirit traded ray blasts, until Caine fled when Marshal Law's Eagle craft appeared overhead. Law landed, and traded glares with Danny, who unmasked himself. "I was expecting an epic battle... A clash of titans..." Instead, Law calmly called him "bacteria," then gave him the "three star" treatment: a trinity of simultaneous shots of different types from his gun. "I was so surprised, I couldn't concentrate my electro-magnetic field to repel them all... And that was that. The end. Bit of a disappointment, really. But... you know best, Marshal. And, now I'm out of the way... you can go after father... Now he's finally killed mother, he can't escape justice... And I can sleep forever." Danny sank into the water, a wound through his left breast trailing blood, and lay at the ocean floor swaddled in his black cape...

Created and owned by Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neill

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Posted by Diabolu at 12:00 AM

Sunday, March 20, 2011
1987 Marshal Law Promotional Sticker


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Sunday, March 20, 2011
Marshal Law #4 (August 1988)


Celeste worried about the effects of her fiance Buck Caine's use of anabolic steroids-- his mood swings, depression, and other health concerns. All the other heroes are doing it, but she can't stand not to get to her peak on her own...

The California Bastards moved into Gangreen's territory, molesting civilians and extorting money. A rumble ensued, drawing the attention of Marshal Law, hovering above on the Eagle. Exchanging fire with the Bastards, the talons of the Eagle latched onto their car, and dropped most of them in the bay. One survived to climb toward Law, with his obscene muscles and claws protruding from his fists.

"The California Bastards were amputees who'd replaced limbs they lost in the war with weapons... and undergone extensive self-mutilation. I figured he was the leader. Following the mauling Gangreen had taken recently, it was inevitable they would stage a take-over." Law needed Gangrene to maintain a peaceable balance of power, so he mauled the Bastards to even things up.

As the violence ebbed, Law found Mrs. Mallon's corner store had been ransacked. She moaned, "I tell you, when I die, I won't go to Hell, because I've had my hell here with super-heroes... They're filth! Bacteria! The lowest form of life!" Danny was present as his mother ranted, and apologized for her histrionics while offering new information. "It's about the Public Spirit... He's taking anabolic steroids. It strikes me as totally ridiculous he should have so much attention and acclaim when he owes it all to a needle... I wonder if Father O'Brian found out. He's pulled out of the wedding now... That should be all you need to prove he's the Sleepman? You're going to arrest him at the wedding?"

Marshal Law visited Father O'Brian in his confessional, demanding to know why he'd pulled his services from Public Spirit and Celeste. "...We both know you're not as strong as Montgomery Clift. We both know about the times you yielded to temptation." It seemed the Father still had lust for the ladies in more than his heart. O'Brian said Caine admitted to killing the Siren Virago, who had tried to trap him into marriage with their unborn child. Caine had the matter brought to mind because he also suspected Virago had survived and given birth...

Celeste prepared for her big day: "They call me a star whore... a female icon who's set the cause of women's emancipation back thirty years... I call them a bunch of jealous dykes... They're trying to say I encouraged the Sleepman. You know the argument-- if you have a ten dollar bill hanging out of your pocket, expect to be robbed. Sorry-- but it's still stealing... Anyway, that's all over and done with now. I'm getting married to Buck and we'll live happily ever after... If that's being a 'star whore'... Guess who pulled the best trick in the world?"

Sleepman made an argument of his own, as he burst into Celeste's room...

Outside, Caine's estate was swarming with super-heroic guests and media. The Public Spirit had a perfectly canned greeting, but was visibly annoyed when one reporter asked, "So we can expect children, then? If it's a boy, he'd have both yours and Celeste's super powers. Surely that would make him the greatest super hero of all time...? Will you re-invest your dreams in your son? So he can reach even greater heights than you?" Commissioner McGland smirked as the Public Spirit excused himself.

Marshal Law stormed the compound, gun drawn, searching for Celeste. The revelry he took in en route shook his slightly. "If Hydroman, Aquanaut and H2O Lad want to hold a depilatory party... I guess it's none of my business."

Law found Celeste's body. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Should have realized it was you all along-- only I wanted it to be him so badly... I was too eaten up with hate for the Public Spirit... The two of you used that hate... to wind me up... to set me up... I'm the patsy. The fall guy. The executioner. Like a siren, you seduced me... with your song of hate... He failed to kill you... so for twenty five years you 'slept'... waiting for him to return from the stars... Dreaming of a thousand ways to hurt, humiliate and destroy him... as he'd destroyed you. Using a disguise a thousand times more effective than all the masks, hoods and secret bases... a corner shop. Where you and Danny planned a punishment to fit his crime: Public Castration. And found someone stupid enough to do it for you."

Marshal Law burst into the chapel, and drew down on Public Spirit, voices in his head compelling him to "Blow his balls off! NOW!" Law fought off the telepathic suggestion, and tore the maid disguise off Mrs. Mallon. She continued to expose herself, revealing the Virago costume underneath her clothes...

Created and owned by Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neill.

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Sunday, March 20, 2011
Marshal Law #3 (April 1988)


SHOCC PUBLICITY DEPARTMENT

TO ALL MEDIA

Under the Secret Powers Act no mention is to be made of the following:
1) The death of the Public Spirit's first fiancee, the Siren Virago, twenty five years ago in a drowning accident.
2) The false accusation of police auxiliary Marshal Law that she was murdered by the Public Spirit because she was pregnant.
3) His further accusation that her pregnancy would have prevented the
Public Spirit from going on his star mission.
4) SHOCC Policy that such astronauts must not have children, due to time dilation on ships traveling close to the speed of light.
5) Any connection between the Public Spirit and the Sleepman: the murderer and rapist of five women dressed like the Public Spirit's second fiancee, the Siren Celeste.
6) The rape and murder by the Sleepman of the student Lynn Evans who was dressed as Celeste during a feminist protest at the Superdome.

Marshal Law fought to contain the caped criminals' violent breakout at the Superdome, but broke off engagement when he spied the Sleepman flying overhead. The serial killer landed in Hero-Land, where he was found by a pair of boys playing at being super. "They, too, have been afflicted by this super hero disease. Fortunately, I can cure them. I could not bear for them to go through what I went through as a child..." The boys were soon no more among the living. "Now, be brave lad... Remember... you're a hero."

The Sleepman lay in wait for Marshal Law, firing energy blasts from his hands into Gilmore's chest. "You would not think he was an antibody. When you look at him... you see, at first, a brutal thug... But when you look closer, you see... a brutal thug. But look closer still-- behind the mask-- and you see... the face of justice. The face of ordinary humanity. Fighting back, with righteous anger, against those of us who act as if we were gods... who look down from our Olympian mansions on lesser mortals... I salute you with my beams, Marshal. I love you. I love the work you do." Law and the Sleepman continued to exchange fire and blows, until the filth humbled the Marshal long enough to escape.

Marshal Law hit his regular corner store on the way home, where he chatted with MILF proprietor Mrs. Mallon, and picked up a noticeably lighter order. "She's left you then? Oh, I'm sorry, Marshal. I know how you feel. I remember when Danny's father left us... I never thought I'd get over it-- but you do... in time..."

Joe Gilmore began rebuilding the wall that separated his apartment from that of his murdered girlfriend Lynn. Earlier, her majorly uptight parents had stopped by to collect her things. "How could they ever understand Lynn? They told me they'd tried. They told me about all the arguments. All the unhappiness she'd caused them. I should have told them not to worry, she wouldn't make them unhappy anymore... but I was choking at the time. As they left, he whispered, 'Did you see the needle marks on his arm? He's another one pressing the self-destruct button.' Before I met Lynn I thought I knew everything. Then I read her books. Listened to her ideas... She'd opened up my world. But her parents were right. I was on something all right. Pure hate."

Returning to duty at his secret police cave, Marshal Law learned Scapegoat had been arrested from Danny. "He confessed to being the Sleepman. Wanted to know if he'd done enough to go to the chair." Danny then briefed Law on new evidence gathered that Public Spirit had the same rare blood type as the Sleepman. Kiloton added that he'd heard at a party from She-Beast that Buck Caine was furiously jealous over Celeste's sexploits as a Siren. Marshal Law presented these findings to a disinterested Commissioner McGland. "I was a SHOCC Officer in the Zone. Marshal Law served under me, so I know how to handle him. Especially as I'm a super hero myself. I'm a super liar." Appealing to his patriotism, promising action after Caine's nuptials, and noting Public Spirit's upcoming donation of a million dollars to the Midnight refuge for disabled heroes/veterans, McGland brought his dog to heel. "I save the best for last... I arrange for the Public Spirit to visit the Midnight to present the check... Marshal Law has to make a welcoming speech... It nearly kills him... I've put the lid back on the scandal and no... unpleasantness."

Buck Caine made with messianic posturing amongst the hobbled Midnight patients, while Sorry the Nearly Man tended to their needs without any sign of glory forthcoming. When the Public Spirit made his exit, he found Gangreen vandalizing his car. Caine blew Hot Head's cranium to pieces with an energy blast exactly like the one the Sleepman had launched earlier. Marshal Law jumped into the fray, bludgeoning Suicida and his gang with a sledgehammer. McGland was pleased that the San Futuro Police Department's own vigilante lawman, their "lunatic with barbed wire wrapped round his arm, who out-Ramboes Rambo," would continue to show the public they were on top of neighborhood crime at "a fraction of the price of really policing the inner city." Public Spirit was glad to be off Law's hook. Sorry proclaimed, "A team-up at last!" And Marshal Law himself...?

"Enjoy your freedom... Until your checks cleared. Until-- the wedding. Then I'm coming after you again... Buck. If you're the new messiah... I'm going to be the one to drive in the nails."

Created and owned by Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neill

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Posted by Diabolu at 12:00 AM

Sunday, March 20, 2011
Marshal Law #2 (February 1988)


"Before I became a secret policeman I had two other identities... I was a Screaming Eagle in the Zone... When we got home I became the vet and tried to sort out... I'm also trying to be a normal person... Joe Gilmore, unemployed blue collar worker living in the inner city... I'd met Lynn during the Big One when the wall between our apartments fell down. We'd been partying ever since." Lynn was asleep in their bed, having wasted the day instead of attending her Communication Studies lecture, "throwing away a chance I never had." Lynn was less concerned about her final year in college than her student activism, which tended to be directed against super heroes. "The idea of making it with a masked man revolts me." Feeling a bit self-conscious and defensive about his alter ego, Joe asked his girlfriend how she felt about Marshal Law. "That fascist pig? That's even worse! That's really sick! 'Sides, anyone who wears a costume like that's got to be gay. I prefer someone normal like you."

"The Superdome was an excuse by Super-Life Laboratories to show off the result of Doctor Shocc's genetic breakthrough... The possibilities were endless... and so were the mistakes, but they kept them hidden underground... I'm all for progress, but you have to draw the line somewhere. At Super-Life Laboratory they'd thrown away the ruler." The Superdome was like a state fair of super-heroics, with carnival rides, caped celebrities, Zone-themed play activities, and recruiting booths. There was also Father O'Brian, damning Celeste as a wanton woman, and calling for her lusty admirers to confess their impure thoughts to God. Mrs. Mallon was present, and disparaged Celeste in comparisons to Pod People and herself in younger years. She pushed her son Danny's wheelchair as he too took in the sight of Celeste, but his thoughts were more in line with those the padre was warning against. Marshal Law chatted with his grocer and co-worker, until Mrs. Mallon took her leave and the discussion shifted to a dark moment in Public Spirit's past. "Danny is my computer operator. He'd managed to hack into confidential SHOCC files."

Colonel Buck Caine was engaged to Celeste. Celeste was a retired Siren, a SHOCC "sleeper" spy with super-sexual powers, that ply trade in exchange for secret information. A quarter century earlier, Public Spirit had been engaged to another Siren, Virago, whom Caine reported as having accidentally drowned shortly before his mission to the stars. "But the most interesting bits in the report were the missing bits in all that lying bullshit."

Public Spirit was making a personal appearance at the Superdome, to greet his fans and hold a question & answer session. While Caine remained young thanks to relative time at near-light speed during his space trip, all the P.Y.T.s that saw him off were now well worn middle-aged women. Marshal Law cut through the soccer moms and geeks lobbing Caine softballs, and began grilling the outwardly pious, unimpeachable Public Spirit. Law led Caine into a trap, discussing the various limitations of Public Spirit's powers before holding up a card and asking, "Well, can you read this?" He could. It read, "Do you go around with a bag over your head raping women?" Rattled, Marshal Law pressed the "hero" about Virago, and how if he had married her, wouldn't he have been refused as an astronaut due to her aging in his absence... especially if she were carrying his child? "Only her body was never found to check." Law openly accused Caine of murder, and was dragged off by SHOCC troopers.

At the order of Father Hood, Doctor Shocc's heir apparent, the troopers began to rough Law up. "Do you know what it would mean if your filthy allegations were true? Cane's the star of the space program for chrissakes! Don't you care about your country?" The Marshal gave better than he took, and walked away on is own feet. "It's because I care!"

Meanwhile, Lynn was outside the Superdome with two fellow protesters, all dressed as super heroes, but with pig masks over their faces. "Super hero costumes promote sexual stereotyping demeaning to women... and legitimize the result of hideous genetic experiments carried out in the name of 'progress'...Such as the Sirens, women specifically created as 'sex machines'..." Lynn tried to rally support for the cause... even amongst the other two guys protesting. Turned out the only reason they came was to see Lynn in a Celeste costume. She threw her pig mask at them and stormed off toward a deserted area around the Superdome. The Sleepman followed.

"This isn't happening. Bad things never happen to me. They always happen to other people. To 'that poor girl down the road.' Cases you read about in the papers. On T.V. Never to me. Never to me! I'm 'that poor girl down the road.' 'Did you hear what happened to her?' they'll say. 'Oh, it was shocking! Shocking!' Never to me. Never to meeeeeeeeeee! Nev..." She was raped. She was murdered. At her request, he didn't wear a bag over his head. Instead, it was a revolting gray mask sculpted to resemble the squiggly inner tubing of a body. His blue eyes stared into hers. His dripping tongue probed her mouth. His knives penetrated her body.

Guards spotted the Sleepman after the act, and were cut to ribbons. More followed, as the filth made his way into the bowels of Super-Life Laboratories, and released "mistakes" from their cells. "They, too, are super heroes. And should be punished. In my place. Hitler Hernandez... The Betrayer... Scapegoat... Slug Fest... Rimfire... GrimGram... Blue Murder... and other unspeakable creatures who should not have been brought into existence. But one is coming who will take them out... He will hunt us all down..."

Marshal Law found Lynn's body, mostly nude, slit down the middle, Sleepman's bag-mask covering her privates. He cradled his personal WiR, then set upon the escapees, who had begun to massacre the Superdome attendees.

"...He will not rest until he has found us. And given us... what we oh, so richly deserve... Some say punishment is not the answer... We should be shown sympathy and understanding... People should pray for us... He prays for us. He prays we all go to Hell."

Created and owned by Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neill

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Posted by Diabolu at 12:00 AM

Sunday, March 20, 2011
Marshal Law #1 (October 1987)


San Futuro, the former San Francisco, is a bombed out hell hole in a time after the Big One hits. Through its night time streets, a woman (barely) dressed in the costume of Celeste ran from a murderous stalker. She briefly encountered a pseudo-Shadow analogue.

"A masked man's following me! Can you tell me where the nearest police precinct is?"
"No."
"Please!"
"Sorry-- it's a secret."
"Do you know their phone number?"
"Sorry-- it's unlisted."
"Well, will you help me?"
"Sorry-- that's a job for the police."

The poor doomed girl was a strippergram in a stupid get-up who was going to be raped and murdered for no crime beyond a sartorial mistake; number five in a series. Her killer was far more guilty, including his one wardrobe choice: a skintight gray-black number, baring claws measured by the foot, and a brown sack with an eye hole tied over his head.

"I am bacteria. I am the lowest form of life. I am a super hero. My flagella are my hands. I see the world through my vacuole. I wear a bag over my head because I'm ashamed of what I am, and what I'm going to do. I am called the Sleepman. I am the pits."

Her body fell through the disabled trolleybus home of Sorry-- The Nearly Man, whose distasteful power/deformity proved no help to him in war or after. A pathetic fanboy perpetually garbed in an unwashed costume, he was assumed the murderer when the Ex-SHOCC troopers turned gangbangers Gangreen stumbled upon them. Led by Suicida, who'd taken to wearing a necklace of severed human ears while fighting in the Zone, the gang "tried" and lynched Sorry. The Nearly Man was saved by the timely arrival of Marshal Law, astride the Eagle, a sort of motorcycle/VTOL hybrid. Law began beating and killing his way through Gangreen, aided by a handgun that fired specialty rounds. The first shown, "dragnet," released spinning sensory lines that caused an explosion on contact. Suicida managed to snag the gun while being assaulted, and shot Law with a "hotline," which sent a debilitating signal to the brain faster than a super hero's "pain gate" could close it out. Law hid under a car until he could recover, then ran off Gangreen by chucking the vehicle at them.

Marshal Law went with his excited fan Sorry back to the trolley, so that belongings could be gathered before the Nearly Man would be dropped off at "The Midnight," a sort of VA for disabled super heroes. Law never suspected Sorry in the murder. "Doctor SHOCC gave us super powers to win the war. Worst of all, he gave us power over pain. If you can't receive pain, you want to inflict it. To see what you're missing. You become capable of anything... Maybe that's why I like vulnerable people... people with problems. People who aren't goddam perfect."

While conventional wisdom was that the Sleepman was a "surp'-- a surplus hero driven crazy by the Zone," Law set his sights a lot higher. "...Autopsies of the bodies-- blood and semen samples-- suggested he was a flyer... Their superhuman metabolism made a sexual relationship with an ordinary woman highly dangerous... Only a few super heroes, like the Public Spirit, could fly... That was the real reason he was engaged to Celeste... the Sirens were secret agents with super sexual powers... but maybe she still wasn't enough... There were stories..."

Marshal Law hit his regular corner store on the way to the station, where he picked up his usual, and chatted with MILF proprietor Mrs. Mallon and "The Midnight's" priest Father O'Brian. Mallon was full of hate for the super gangs and openly flirtatious with Law, who worked with her handicapped son as a fellow Cave-Cop... "That's what they call us when we work out of secret police precincts..." His was littered with masks and corpses of super heroes who should have left well enough alone.

Marshal Law held a teleconference with Commissioner McGland regarding the latest murder, though Law's suspicions about an "uptown" suspect were swiftly dismissed. Mrs. Mallon's boy Danny tended to Law's wounds, and alerted him when Gangreen was detected breaching one of the entrances to the precinct. Danny had several options available to wipe out the "vermin" en masse, but Law wasn't willing to see a turf break out in their sudden absence. Instead, Law and his massive sometime-partner Kiloton "greeted" Suicida's crew with heavy fire, sending them packing. "Let 'em go... They're just the symptoms... I'm after the disease!"

Created and owned by Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neill

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Posted by Diabolu at 12:00 AM

Sunday, March 20, 2011
Marshal Law--Fear and Loathing Prologue (June 1990)


"I was five when I felt the magic... The whole Jesus League of America was assembled... Stigmata... Shroud... Virago... Sin-Gorger... Monstrance... Private Eye... Devil's Tool (later known as Rubber Johnny)... Black Abbot and his ward Red Riding Hood... Purgatory and Whipping Boy... and their leader: super hero supreme... Colonel Buck Caine... The Public Spirit.

They were there to announce man's first mission to the stars... I didn't understand it all... especially the way girls made a fuss about him... but Buck seemed above that sort of thing... Soon after, he ascended into Heaven...

Years later, I tried to follow him... Instead... I descended... into Hell."

Joe Gilmore was an impressionable young lad who idolized the Superman-type that was the Public Spirit. Colonel Buck Caine saw it as God's will that he should join the astronauts Sherman and Lomas in their mission to reach Nemesis, our sun's dark companion star. "Travelling close to the speed of light, the round trip had taken two years... While, due to Einstein's Theory of Relativity, a quarter of a century went by on Earth." In the meantime, other artificially empowered beings were created by S.H.O.C.C., Super Hero Operational Command and Control, to fight in a Vietnam-style quagmire called the Zone. "Doctor SHoCC says... 'Thanks to my unique operation, you can go into combat without fear! When wounded, an electrical stimulator in your body will cause fat nerve fibers to generate fast impulses, closing a 'pain gate' at the spinal cord before slower pain signals from thin nerve fibers reach it. Result: No pain! Because no pain impulses can reach your brain!'"

Gilmore enlisted, joining the Screaming Eagles in a jungle nightmare, serving under McGland and alongside the future Suicida. "While back home... the long-awaited 'Big One'... the mega-quake... arrived. Nothing... would ever be the same again. Downtown became a no-go area... controlled by warring gangs. The new times... called for new solutions. New ways of dealing with law-breakers."

"After the Big One destroyed San Francisco... after the war in the Zone ended in stalemate... after the super heroes came home... It was time for... Marshal Law."

The utterly, irreparably devastated San Francisco was re-dubbed "San Futuro." The utterly, irreparably devastated Joe Gilmore was re-dubbed "Marshal Law." In his own words, "I'm a hero hunter... I hunt heroes... Haven't found any yet... Bad old days... Bad new days... We'd come full circle... Only now the outlaws were called super heroes... Lot of people say I hate super heroes... That's not true, you know... Well, all right... it's partly true... Okay, it's true. I hate the way they look... I hate what they were ordered to do. I hate what they turned us into. 'Cos God help me, I'm one. Only one who wanted the job of doing it to his own."

An eight page prologue to the 1987 "Marshal Law" mini-series from Epic Comics was created by Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neill for the 1990 trade paperback collection "Fear and Loathing." While rather decompressed when compared to the dense original story, the introduction was so seamless that it led directly into the cover reproduction of the first issue, a virgin offering that appeared as though it were a silent story page. The piece is filled with in-jokes and references to future volumes, and is the sort of extra I miss in the perfunctory collections of modern times. Trades were still an extravagance back then, you see, and having read most of the story in that volume, I can't separate the "extra" in my mind from the whole (especially a callback to a couple of gag panels in the second issue.)

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Posted by Diabolu at 12:00 AM