Sunday, January 31, 2010

You Have Chosen to Fight the Ferocious Tigrabars!

“Come on!” Gold said, “don’t worry about the Injustice Gang for now.  Let’s take down these tigers!”

“Do we really need to hurt them?” Tina asked, “they’re so pretty.  Just like Earth tigers!”

“Only twice as big and with a nasty pointy horn on their heads,” Mercury muttered.  He then let go of Abra Kadabra.


Tigrabar in its natural habitat


“I shall slay these beasts!” Ocean Master said.  But then a horned tiger (or tigrabar, which is what they’re known on planet Rann, which is where are heroes are) sprang into the air and knocked him down before he could even raise his trident.

“Halt!” Abra Kadabra commanded, raising his arms to conjure a spell.  A burst of blue-green magic hit the nearest tigrabar squarely in the face.  It shuddered, shook its head, and recoiled.  And then, it let out a ferocious roar and launched itself at the magician.

I.Q. ran around screaming.  Shark snapped at a pair of tigrabars, but only succeeded in keeping the beasts at bay for a few seconds before they both pounced on him.

One of the beasts landed on Gold.  He flattened himself out into a foil sheet.  The beast stood over him with a puzzled expression, then sat down on its haunched and waited.  One thing about cats is, they are very patient.

The vicious tigrabars continued their onslaught, taking down each member of the Injustice Gang and the Metal Men.  Getting mauled to death by a pack of tigers on an alien planet isn’t the best way to go, but a tiger with a horn on its head?  That’s pretty cool.  And Tina was right: how could you attack anything this cute?




Save the Global Guardians



Mera had followed after her husband, and used her hard water powers to secure the Legion of Doom and help as many Guardians as she could reach. The Little Mermaid held the battered Godiva and Owlwoman's heads above water. Seraph struggled to do the same for himself and Bushmaster, while Jack O'Lantern lifted Thunderlord to safety. In moments, all of the Guardians were securely above the salty water, held by a school of dolphins, finny friends of the Sea King.

As for Aquaman himself, he was in hot pursuit of Black Manta, the murderer of his son who had yet to face justice. Down they went, to depths nearly beyond Manta's ability to tolerate. The killer was so close now, Aquaman's heart and mind raced at the thought of what he would do now that the moment of truth had arrived.

Suddenly, Aquaman found his leg caught in the powerful grip of Solomon Grundy.  Even at this nigh-unfathomable level, the reek of the living corpse's lifeless exhalations burned the Sea King's eyes. With his remaining leg and steel-like arm muscles, Aquaman dragged Grundy like an anchor after him, struggling to reach Manta as Grundy fought to bring his remaining arm to bear against Arthur. It was in the midst of this tug-of-war that a killer whale found its way to the pair, and swallowed all of Grundy but his tractor arm with one gulp. Distracted by this unwelcome intrusion, Grundy was unable to maintain his grip, just as Aquaman had planned. "Solomon? Reminds me more of Jonah."

The sovereign swimmer headed toward to an undersea cave, from which an odd luminescence emanated. What was this, Aquaman wondered. Black Manta, now well ahead of his pursuer, crossed the threshold first. In a flash, he was gone, leaving Aquaman to struggle through a mix of anguish and a sad relief. What would this aquatic hero have done to Manta, after all? What lines would he have been willing to cross?

Where did Manta go? What was the Legion of Doom after? What will become of Aquaman and the Global Guardians? These questions and more can only be answered as you continue through the DC Challenge at these exciting blogs! Look for the Sovereign of the Seven Seas to return in coming weeks as part of the next DC Challenge release wave!

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You Have Chosen to Try to Contact Adam Strange Again

“Adam?” Gold spoke into the receiver.  “Strange?  Are you receiving me?  We’ve got trouble down here.  Some kind of strange tigers are about to attack.”

The receiver crackled alive.  “Tigrabars,” Adam Strange said, “don’t go near them, Gold.  You’ve got to get—*uhhff*—out of there.  I’m sorry, I brought you to Rann.  I thought it’d be safer than—*skhsss*—out here with me.  Guess I was wrong.  Over.”

“Strange?” Gold asked, “is everything okay?  What’s going on?”

“Gold!  Do something!” Tina said.


Tigrabar in its natural habitat

“H-h-hurry, Gold!  The tigers—tigrabars—are attacking!” Tin said, while still holding I.Q.’s wrists behind him.

“Unhand me!” Ocean Master demanded of Lead, “and I can deal with them!”

One of the tigrabars leapt at Captain Boomerang and Tina, its curved horn glinting in the early morning Rannian sunlight.  Tina shrieked and Captain Boomerang shrieked in unison.  “Do something!” they both shouted in unison.

Another tigrabar circled Mercury and Abra Kadabra.  “Let go of me!” Kadabra shouted.  Mercury uncoiled his hands from around Kadabra’s neck.

“Do your best, magic man,” Mercury said.

Kadabra waved his hands in the air and conjured a spell.  The ball of blue-green magic zapped the tigrabar in the face, causing it shake its head and roar ferocioiusly.  It swatted at its jaw with its massive front paw and appeared to be momentarily stunned.

And then, it got really, really angry.

It leapt in the air with all the agility of a gazelle.  Only Gold was fast enough to stretch over and cover both Mercury and Kadabra.  The tigrabar’s claws dug into Gold’s back, and he flattened himself out and let the claws harmlessly bend his body, but not puncture it.  In the commotion, however, he had dropped the League receiver.

“Tina!” he shouted, “get the signaling device!”

“I don’t see it!” she shouted back.

“I’ve g-g-g-ot it!” Tin said, holding the signaling device up in the air, waving his arms.  This, of course, had the effect on the tigrabars that waving a red cloth in front of a bull had.  All five of the tigrabars gave chase to Tin, who ran shrieking in circles around everybody.

Now that all the tigrabars were focused on Tin, Gold let go of Mercury and Abra Kadabra.  He turned and ran after Tin.  “Push the button!” he said to Tin.

“Wh-wh-wh-which one?”

“The only one!”

Tin pushed the button as he ran.  The pack of tigrabars ran after him.

“H-h-help!” Tin said.

Adam Strange’s voice crackled over the receiver, “Who’s this?”

Tin tripped, dropped the receiver, and rolled up into a ball.  Mercury swooped by and scooped up the receiver.  “This is Mercury!” he said, “get us outta here now, Strange!”

“Mercury?  Say again?” Adam Strange asked.

Gold stretched over and swiped the receiver out of Mercury’s hands.  “This is Gold!  We can’t hold them back anymore!  Besides, it sounds like you need our help!”

“All—*shkk*—ight, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.  Initiating Zeta Beam transfer.  Over.”

The air glowed with shimmering golden light, the grass faded underneath, and the evil tigrabars were nothing but a shimmering cloud of orange and black atoms.

You Chose To Stay And Fight off the Injustice Gang

You have chosen to stay and hold off the Injustice Gang

“I don’t know, Adam, that sounds a little risky,” Gold said into the signaling device, “I might just take my chances here.”

“Roger that,” Strange said, “good luck.”

Gold put the signaling device back into the drawer and slid it shut.  It sounded as if the League were in trouble.

Another loud slam from out in the hallway made Gold look up.  The Injustice Gang were slamming against the back of the cabinet which Gold had moved in front of the door.  It rocked back and forth, until a sizzle of blue-green energy heaved the entire cabinet up in the air and tossed it aside with a crash of wood splintering and glass shattering.

Gold turned to face the oncoming attack.  Captain Boomerang lumbered into the room first, followed by Floronic Man and Abra Kadabra.  They stepped aside to allow the rest of the Injustice Gang passage, Shark, I.Q., and Ocean Master.

“Well, well,” Captain Boomerang said looking squarely at Gold, “looks like we’ve got ourselves our robot—OW!”  Before he could turn around to see that Iron had hit him on the head, Platinum had roped herself around him in an inescapable metallic spider’s web.

Mercury slipped through the doorway and wrapped himself around Ocean Master.  The two tangled about the room as the rest of the Metal Men burst into the lab.

Iron hammered at Shark until he was down, Tin bravely wrapped himself around I.Q.’s head, blinding him, and Lead attacked Floronic Man.

Amidst the din a wisp of smoke swirled about the corner of the room and expanded, curling up to the ceiling.  A white light burst into the room and out of the mist stepped a cloaked man.  His hat cast a shadow about his face so that it appeared as if he were wearing a mask over his eyes.  He raised a gloved hand and the din and confusion stopped.

The Injustice Gang stood (or lay, depending on where they had been) frozen in space.

The stranger walked up to Gold.  “I am the Phantom Stranger,” he intoned, “you and your Metal Men are needed elsewhere.”


The Phantom Stranger being awesome.  It's what he does best.


“We are?” Gold said.  If he were human, his voice would be shaking.

“Yes.  Follow me.”  The Phantom Stranger stretched out his hand.

All was darkness.

Clark Kent



1982

Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter for the Daily Planet, was following a flurry of news stories coming in over the wire. A gang war had broken out in Gotham City. Aquaman and the Global Guardians were caught in a conflict with the Legion of Doom. The Manhunter from Mars, once a respected member of the Justice League of America, was on a terrible rampage. A whole host of heroes, including Superman and Wonder Woman, had been declared missing. What a tragedy! Oh, the humanity!

As Kent strolled past a supply closet, several sets of hands reached out and pulled him into the tiny room. Inside were Brainiac 5, Sun Boy, Dawnstar and Shadow Lass, all members of the Legion of Super-Heroes. These were, of course, teenagers from the 30th Century inspired to heroism by Superman's example.

"Thank griefe we found you!"
"According to my calculations, this is the approximate time frame in which the ongoing unraveling of time-space continuum due to the disappearance of Superboy in 1961 could best arrested. Now we can correct for the damaged caused by our teammates, and insure our continued existence. Are you ready to fix the universe, Superman?"

"Ah, what? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh come on now, Superman. This is no time for joking! In fact, if we don't act fast, there may be no time left at all!"

"Listen, I don't want any trouble. I'm just going to head back to the press room, and pretend this never happened."

Sun Boy punched Clark Kent in the shoulder.
"OW! Security! Security"

Brainiac 5 created an airless forcefield around Kent's head while Dawnstar and Shadow Lass removed his jacket, shirt and tie."

"Look Brainy-- he's already starting to bruise."
"Nass!"
"Oh, this is fan-sprocking-tastic. Now we're all going to die."
"What is it with 20th Century Earth. Why does the fate of the entire universe always seem to rest on the shoulders of upright talking monkeys with a death wish? I say we swing the time bubble around to one of their quaint little liquor stores, buy a few bottles of their peach-flavored liquid depressants, and head back home to wait for the entropy wave. Who's with me?"

Not ready to give up yet? Try again, you upright monkeys.

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You Chose the Shorter Route

“Let’s take the faster route,” Gold said, “time is of the essence.”

As they walked through the city, people stopped and gave them strange looks.  Adding to the confusion was the fact that Lead carried Tin’s body.

They walked past clothing shops and barber shops, a florist and a candy shop, and all the sorts of things you would see on a main street.

They turned a corner and waited on the curb for the light to change.  As they did, Gold noticed a figure approaching from an alleyway.

A short bald man with an aquiline nose and Coke bottle glasses came walking down the sidewalk with four children in tow.  “Step lightly, Beautia!  Come walk next to me, Magnificus, there’s a good lad.  Georgia!  Junior!  Stop fighing!”  He nearly bumped into Gold as he came to stand on the edge of the curb.  “Oh.  My apologies.”  And when he looked up at Gold his beady little eyes grew ten sizes.  “Oh my,” he said in a small, quavering voice.

“Excuse me,” Gold said. “would you like to cross first?”

“Why, no, my good man.  You go right ahead of me.”  He smiled a crooked little smile.

Platinum smiled down at the children.  “What lovely children,” she said, until she set eyes on Georgia and Junior and her smile faded.

The light turned green and Gold proceeded to cross the street.  He then felt something press against his back and a *zing* of electricity curdled through his body.  Losing his equilibrium, he fell to the pavement, looking up at the strange man.

“What…happened?” Gold asked, and when the others came to help him he noticed the little man pull something from his pocket and zap each of his teammates, and all five of them fell to the pavement.

The little man rubbed his hands together.  “What wonderful specimens!  What amazing craftsmanship!  And now you’re all mine!  Property of Doctor Thaddeus Bodog Sivana!  Who knows what wonderful things I could do with you under my command?”

The world faded from view.  From behind closed eyes, Gold could hear Dr. Sivana laughing what was arguably the best evil villain laugh ever laughed in the entire multiverse.  I suppose that’s what you get for taking shortcuts and not taking time to stop and smell the roses.

The End.

You Chose The Scenic Route


“I think we’ll prefer the scenic route.  We might as well enjoy ourselves while we’re here, right Metal Men?” Gold said.

His teammates answered in a chorus of enthusiastic yes’s.  (Except Mercury.  The best answer he could give was, “Whatever.”)

“Okay then,” Captain Marvel said, and took Gold aside to give him directions to the Fawcett County Hospital and bid them farewell and wished them good luck.

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and everything seemed very lovely and bucolic, which prompted Platinum to say, “Isn’t this such a bucolic place?” which then lead to a ten-minute discussion between Lead and Iron about what the word ‘bucolic’ meant.

As the Metal Men crested a small hill, something small darted out in front of them from the bushes.

“What was that?” Platinum asked.

Gold looked up ahead.  A little rabbit sat on the lawn on its haunches, wiping at its ears with its forepaws.  “Nothing,” Gold said, “it’s just a rabbit.”  He then froze in his tracks and look at Platinum.

“Get him!” Mercury shouted.

Lead and Iron lurched forward.  The bunny scampered away.  Mercury made a grab for him as he hopped past, and then the bunny launched into full-out predator-prey-panic mode, zigging and zagging over the lawn, and if you’ve ever seen a bunny trying to run away from someone trying to catch it, this’ll make perfect sense to you.

“Wait!” Platinum was saying, “we don’t even know if this is the right rabbit!”

They ignored her.  The bunny swung close to Mercury and he scooped out a hand towards it.  “Ow!  He bit me!”

“What are you saying ‘ow’ for?  You’re a robot!” Tina said.

Mercury ignored her remark and ran after the rabbit, its cotton tail flaring as it hopped frantically away from him.  Lead and Iron were in hot pursuit, and the whole scene would’ve played out a lot better if it were set to that music from the Benny Hill show.

Not wanting to be left out, Gold joined in the chase.  “Wait for me, guys!  I’ll come around to the left and create a diversion and you guys try to herd him back towards me—”

“TIBBAR POTS!” came a woman’s voice.  Gold paused briefly enough to see a dark-haired cloaked woman and then looked back down.  The bunny was frozen, mid-hop.

Mercury skidded to stop and regarded the suspended bunny.  “Well that’s something you don’t see every day.”

Gold turned to the dark-haired woman.  She wore a strange little red hat down the middle of her head.  “Who are you?” he asked.

“I am Zatanna,” she said, “I am here with the Phantom Stranger.  I noticed you chasing that rabbit around and I thought I’d help you.”

“What did you do to him?” Mercury asked.

“Oh, he’s not hurt,” she said.  She bent down and picked him up and handed him to Gold.  “TIBBAR EVOM!” she commanded.  The rabbit started squirming around in Gold’s hands.

Just then, Gold heard a voice above him.  “Hello there, Metal Men!”

“Captain Marvel!” Gold said, “we found Hoppy!”

Captain Marvel flew down and alighted in front of Gold.  He laughed.  “That’s not Hoppy.  We had forgotten Hoppy was down at the local ASPCA giving a speech about the importance of not spaying or neutering pet rabbits.  It seems that I forgot to write it down on my calendar.”

Gold looked down at the squirming rabbit in his arms.  “So who’s this?”

Marvel shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Just some rabbit that lives in the park.  Anyway.  Good news!  Since I didn’t have to go looking for Hoppy I was able to recover your friend’s responsometer!”  He reached over to Gold and handed it over.

“Wonderful!” Gold said.  He went over to Tin and quickly installed the chip.

Tin sat up.  “Wh-wh-where am I?”

“Long story, Tin,” Mercury said.

A wisp of smoke caught Gold’s eye.  It swirled and grew.  A light brighter than the sun flickered and then a shadow appeared in its place.  Out of the shadows stepped the Phantom Stranger.

“Zatanna,” he intoned, “these people are needed.”  He looked over at Captain Marvel.  “I am sending you and your Marvel family to Skartaris.”  Captain Marvel nodded in acknowledgement.  “Gold.  You and your Metal Men are needed elsewhere.”

He stretched out a white, gloved hand and all was blackness.

Continue your adventure here.

Starman



Hawkgirl piloted her Thanagarian wingship deep into the reaches of space. While her husband Katar Hol and his best friend Ray Palmer worked to repair the fallen android hero Red Tornado, Shayera continued to follow the particle trail left by the fuel of the Cometeer. While Captain Comet had done an admirable job of constructing an interstellar craft with 1950s earthen technology, it was relatively crude by Thanagarian standards, and easily traced. Over the flight, Hawkgirl also sent out a call to any friendly parties in their path, and finally found a receptive voice in Prince Gavyn, formerly of Throneworld. Perhaps better known as Starman, Gavyn agreed to fly meet the Thanagarian party at the estimated point where they would both reach the Cometeer.

I'm afraid that's all I have at the moment. We'll get back to this someday.

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Red Tornado



As the Manhunter from Mars sailed ever closer toward Hawkgirl, who was already blasting her ship's mounted fire extinguishers at the apartment building, the Alien Atlas was sent flailing through the air by a mightier wind than even his Martian lungpower could produce. The android Justice Leaguer Red Tornado had caught J'Onn J'Onzz in a swirling cyclone produced by his right arm.

In her ship, Shayera grinned. It was about time the Justice League sent in their only member she could trust not to be an absorbascon liability. As any good police officer knows, even alien ones, you never want to walk into a crime scene without back-up.

The Martian Manhunter, once caught in the cyclone's path, turned immaterial. Collecting himself, the Martian Miracle Man flew toward the Tornado Champion. His massive brow furrowed, J'Onn J'Onzz bellowed, "Usurper. You dared think you could ever take my place within the League, tinkertoy?" With that, the Manhunter from Mars passed his ghostly fingertips through the robot John Smith's brow, and turned solid. Electrical sparks flew and the Red Tornado's artificial form went still with sickening immediacy. As he dropped out of the sky, Hawkgirl maneuvered her spacecraft beneath him, catching Red Tornado without missing a second in the escape to follow.

Streaking back toward the East Coast, Hawkgirl made the call to her husband and partner, Hawkman. "Katar, you and the Atom had best be ready to wing it like a Manhawk out of the Seven Hells. I've got a psychotic Martian on my tail, and we've got to pick up the trail of Captain Comet if any of us are ever going to get out of this mess!

Follow the Cometeer!

Plastic Man

Nuts! I wanted to do a Plas/Ambush Bug team-up. Sometimes, life really gets a fellow down.

Batgirl

I had such grand plans for Batgirl. See, Granny Goodness was pretending to be the Supergirl analogue from Peter David's "Fallen Angel," and Glorious Godfrey was a fake Connor Hawke. Both would trick a bunch of 90s heroes into battling their predecessors, while Cassandra Cain would pretend to be Barbara Gordon, so she wouldn't get zapped by Dr. Fate. Batgirl would have helped save Gotham City, and helped make peace between generations of super-heroes.

Ah well. I like me some 90s heroes. Consider me an honorary member of the Anti-Didio League, and I'll wish it the best. Maybe we can do this again, but better on my part? For instance, with the dang League link on all the pages? GAH! Stupid me!

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I Am The Phantom Stranger

Crisis On Earth-Blog: The DC Challenge



Courtesy blogger Frank Lee Delano comes a comic book blog crossover event so huge that Zack Snyder is currently developing a movie version--The DC Challenge!

Follow the story below, and choose your answer. You will either get one step closer to the ultimate answer or end up further away.

Frank has lined up an astonishing list of collaborators, which you can see below. Are you up to the challenge?


1982

Zatanna was on her way up to serve a shift aboard the Justice League of America Satellite with Elongated Man, but instead of a high tech headquarters in orbit 22,300 miles about the Earth, she found herself in a dark, dank castle. A grim figure in black approached her from the shadows, and where some might see a Phantom Stranger, the sorceress was relieved to see a somewhat friendly face.

Wordlessly, the Stranger gestured for Zatanna to follow him, as they entered an antechamber populated by some of the most powerful mystical forces in all of creation.

To the left was Doctor Fate, who was the first to speak. He warned of figures from a possible future come to plague modern heroes, such as Firestorm, and Supergirl. He believed these beings must be removed from our time without delicacy or delay.

Dr. Mist, the ancient mage we leads the Global Guardians, warned of a massive surge in organized super-villain activity. Captain Comet, The Metal Men, and others had faced this terrible threat.

Grimmest of all was the Spectre, the embodiment of the Judeo-Christian God's own wrath. He warned of beings from other dimension raining down on creation like a plague, currently afflicting soldiers from throughout time and space, including The Atom, Sgt. Rock, and the Unknown Soldier. Worse, what evil now rose up in the hearts of the fallen mighty, like the Manhunter from Mars?

All of the magic wielders agreed that something had to be done, but by whom? When? The Phantom Stranger turned to Zatanna. "Me?" she asked.

The Phantom Stranger replied, "If not you, then who? If not now, then when?"
Perhaps these others have their own answers to such a question?

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You Have Chosen to Go With Adam Strange

Gold spoke into the JLA signaling device, “Roger that, Mr. Strange.  But we can’t let the Injustice Gang stay behind, either.  Can we all get a ride out of here?”

The receiver crackled with Adam Strange’s voice.  “—*ssssh*—opy that.  Not a problem.  Get everyone together, then hold positio—*sss*—  Over.”

“Okay,” Gold said into the receiver.

This is Adam Strange.  He is beyond awesome.

Out in the hall he heard the thudding of heavy feet and a solid *thump* and then an “OW!  That hurt!” from Captain Boomerang.

Something struck the door and the cabinet rattled.

“Gold?  Are you in there?”  Tina’s voice.

“Yes!  Hang on!”  Gold raced to the door, heaved the cabinet to the side and threw open the door.

Platinum stood in the doorway, wrapped around Captain Boomerang.  “I have a present for you,” she said.

Behind her stood Iron, Lead, Tin, Mercury, and the rest of the Injustice Gang, similarly indisposed.

“Wh-wh-what’s that?” Tin stammered, pointing upwards.

A faint golden light filled the room, intensified to blinding proportions, and then the lab seemed to disappear beneath Gold’s feet.