Meanwhile... Mr. Fixit, Illegal Machine, & Diabolu Frank look at the controversial 1988 Batman: The Killing Joke prestige format one-shot that has gone from one of the most revered works of a new wave of mature readers books to a (mostly) direct-to-video animated film and an albatross around the neck of DC's attempts at outreach to modern women not in refrigerators. While the comic and flick are a touchstone, this is less an individual critique than a debate about the treatment of prominent females in comics. But bro-ier than that sounds. Beyond Alan Moore and Brian Bolland, we also talk Frank Miller, Brian Azzarello, Rafael Albuquerque, and more. We also go broader than Barbara Gordon to other imperiled heroines like Supergirl, Ms. Marvel, Captain Marvel, Cassandra Caine, The Huntress, Bat-Girl, Batwoman, Superwoman, and yes, Sansa Stark. If you're not up to date with Game of Thrones or Orange Is The New Black, this episode may be even more problematic for you than usual.
Previously in Justice
An Indian woman wrote her parents about the wonderful city run by a super-villain that she had run away to live in, and mentioned the differences between each villain's haven.
The seemingly triumphant Legion took to formal dress and toasted themselves in a building whose architecture recalled the Hall of Doom. The Atom was detected as a spy in their midst, and turned out not to be the only one, as armored heroes rushed the hall. Violence ensued. The Flash/Mercury used Plastic Man/Platinum to super-speed bind some villains. A Captain Marvel bound up in golden bandages (thought it was Metamorpho at first) and a Lead-plated Man of Steel clashed with Black Adam and Bizarro. Green Lantern paired off with Sinstro, and actually, most of the matches were entirely predictable.
The mind-controlled sidekicks of the main heroes were called in by the Legion as reenforcements, but were met outside the hall by the Doom Patrol. Robotman was torn to pieces by Mary Marvel, and Beast Boy fared little better against Kid Flash. Negative Man challenged Captain Marvel Junior as Elasti-Girl stood tall against Batgirl and the Teen Titans while wearing a mini-skirt. However, once Larry Trainor was forced to return his negative form to his corporeal body, Rita was overwhelmed by the Marvel Family. The Joker had managed to insert himself into the city, stole Robotman's severed head, and detonated bombs he'd planted all over town.
Platinum (Again? Spread thin?) and Gold pretended to cover Green Arrow and Black Canary, but that duo was secretly teleported into a sewer tunnel by Zatanna. Once there, they were attacked by Clayface (again,) who was contained by Green Arrow's "shadow," Elongated Man. Once the deception was detected, Gold and Platinum tangled with Parasite and Metallo, 'Tina ending up worse for wear. Superman knocked Toyman about while keeping a choke hold on Bizarro, but then Lead taunted Solomon Grundy and Kal-El took the brunt of the resultant punishment.
Green Arrow insisted that Black Canary save her sonic powers for a planned moment of truth, but once the pair located the supporting cast hostages, Ollie was left to deal with the possessed Supergirl. Dinah argued against Ollie firing a kryptonite arrow at the Maid of Might, a discussion super-hearing easily allowed Kara to act upon. Supergirl dodged the arrow, which struck John Stewart in the chest. As it turned out, all went according to plan, since the arrow actually had a power ring on its tip. Green Lantern declared "You're not killing any super-heroes today, Supergirl. You're going to help us save the world. Just like always.
"Chapter Ten" was plotted and painted by Alex Ross. The script was provided by Jim Krueger, and the penciled layouts by Doug Braithwaite.
Continue the story through these character-specific posts:
Superman was being held down by Solomon Grundy, while Metallo killed the Man of Steel slowly with radiation from his kryptonite heart. Bizarro and Parasite looked on, until lightning crossed the skies, and an unseen force began to attack the villains.
In no time, the Power of Shazam was at Superman's disposal. Captain Marvel had answered Kal-El's distress signal, and now offered a helping hand. Superman was too sick to hold himself up, and Bizarro had recovered, so the Big Red Cheese flew them both to safety. Meanwhile, Lex Luthor teleported to the scene to save Parasite from the kryptonite (he'd absorbed Superman's weaknesses with his strengths) that he replaced in Metallo's chest cavity. Bizarro rejoined the motley crew.
Dinah Lance walked into her bedroom to find her lover Oliver Queen buried under a fleshy mass, and with green arrows seemingly buried in his head. Whether this was from the Scarecrow's nightmare gases or Clayface's shifting form, an ear-splitting Canary Cry shook the facade loose. Ollie Queen yet lived, and shoved the sparking end of a busted lamp into Clayface's electrocuted hide.The villains fled, and a tearful Black Canary held her shaken man. Dinah wondered why her cry hadn't hurt Ollie, until he removed his earplugs. You see, Clayface had turned himself into a blond Dinah to trick Queen before the attack, not realizing Lance was naturally a brunette. Ollie figured he might be needing more than one form of protection, if his Pretty Bird was indulging in amorous role-play...
Green Lantern Hal Jordan had been forced through a Boom Tube by Sinestro and left in a starless, uncharted area of space. His power ring couldn't get him back home, so he asked it "How much longer before your charge runs out and I die?"
Superman guided Captain Marvel to the Batcave. None of the active Leaguers were answering his calls, so some reservists like the Captain had been notified. The Dark Knight was angry that Superman had compromised him, but Marvel assured, "I would never tell anyone about this place. Which is really cool, by the way." Marvel thought it might help to transform back into his normal self of kid reporter Billy Batson, but Batman just complained about the noise and magic lightning bouncing around his headquarters, not to mention questioning the kid's experience with "crime and loss." Billy politely blew off the Caped Crusader's ignorance, while Superman cold decked his friend. The Man of Steel was too weak for it to be a killing blow, but he gave it all he had, since Batman had palmed some kryptonite. X-ray Vision revealed that Batman was full of mind-controlling mechanical worms, and Superman soon realized he was similarly compromised. Alfred Pennyworth was too, as he covered Billy's mouth with one hand and threatened to slice the boy's throat with the Batarang in the other.
Lex Luthor cast black marbles into a body of water, and from out of it emerged ebony spheres the size of cities. This was Braniac's doing, and though one super-villain would inevitably betray the other, for now everything was going according to mutual plans.
Billy's heel slammed hard into Alfred's foot as he broke loose of the butler's grip. Superman pegged the manservant in the brow with a flung coffee cup, while with one magic word, Captain Marvel was restored. Alfred and the Batman were tied up. Next, Superman asked Marvel to throw him into the sun, in order to burn out the worms...
The powers of the gods allowed Captain Marvel to try to talk Superman out of the prescribed course of action while traveling through the vacuum of space. Wordlessly, the Man of Steel made it clear he was more afraid of his infestation making him the man who killed Captain Marvel than vice versa, so the Big Red Cheese threw Superman into the sun.
Hal Jordan was mildly amused to finally encounter a portion of space(?) the Guardians of the Universe knew nothing about, but not too much under the circumstances. His power ring only had seven hours worth of charge remaining, and he was potentially lost forever. Green Lantern decided to convert himself into electronic impulses stored within his ring, perhaps indefinitely.
"This involvement of Captain Marvel was unforeseen," noted Brainiac to Lex Luthor and Grodd. The Super-Gorilla seemed the most irritated by the party crasher, and was given permission to send the pseudo-prophetic nightmare shared by the Legion of Doom to Black Adam in order to increase their numbers.
Ablaze with solar energy, the Man of Tomorrow was restored. On learning that Superman had rid himself of a worm-like bodily invader, Captain Marvel offered Mr. Mind as a suspect. Just as the pair were reaching the JLA Satellite, it exploded in front of them. Captain Marvel asked if Superman detected any trace of Red Tornado in the debris...
John Stewart told Zatanna when he arrived at Ferris Aircraft Company, and asked that she thank Elongated Man for calling him in. On the property, Stewart met with Hal Jordan's sometimes girlfriend Carol Ferris and sidekick Tom Kalmaku. Stewart was searching for Hal, but the best idea "Pieface" could offer was pointing to the sky. "Thanks. That narrows it down."
Hal Jordan knew that it was Sinestro who had "killed" him via Boom Tube, but tried to move on with his everlasting illusion of life. Simulations of Coast City and its residents were constructed, but they were hollow things, and Green Lantern wondered how long he would wait before allowing space to take him...
An emaciated Flash continued to run across the globe, surely doomed to die from exhaustion...
Brainiac was aware Aquaman's body had been found, but it served its purpose of distracting the League, since Lex Luthor had failed to assassinate the super friends. Of course, Brainiac himself hadn't found in the Sea King's brain what he was looking for, so it was up to Gorilla Grodd to initiate a new phase in the trio's plans. Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen, Mary Batson, Freddy Freeman, Jean Loring, Carol Ferris, Steve Trevor, John Stewart, Dick Grayson, Wally West... all targeted...
Once again, the Wisdom of Solomon trumped any thoughts in Superman's head. Captain Marvel flew as close to the wayward Flash as he could, and with one magic word, magical lightning shook the Scarlet Speedster out of his uncontrollable race toward death. Superman caught Billy Batson before any harm could come to him, then gave him space for the power of Shazam to restore Captain Marvel. Getting thrown into the sun had burnt up the Man of Steel's wallet, so Earth's Mightiest Mortal came to the rescue again, offering his only ten bucks to feed the Flash at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Hal Jordan was already feeling like death in a self-centered world of his own making. However, his power ring refused to restore his physical form for such an end. "Your essence has been converted into an electrical impulse that has been stored within the ring... You will now live forever. Alone."
In Shazam's lair within an abandoned subway tunnel, Black Adam covered Mary's mouth, and threatened to kill her if Freddy said a word...
Superman arrived at his Fortress of Solitude, greeted by fellow heroes awaiting him...
In an Arabian desert, the Flash broke up Captain Cold's mini-harem. "You tried to kill me. And that means you tried to kill everyone I hope to save until the day I die. That's a lot of people." Cold should have pointed out that if he had succeeded, the Scarlet Speedster still would have saved everybody he saved until the day he died, but since he didn't die, he might ought to consider swapping a chemistry class for some remedial English. Instead, Cold drew a replica pistol made of ice, which Flash totally fell for, so maybe he needed another police detective class, too. Captain Cold froze up a hall of mirrors, and when that didn't work, created sculptured duplicates of himself. Failing yet again, Captain Cold was run to the Fortress of Solitude.
Still trapped in his power ring, Hal Jordan argued with simulations of his brothers about the benefits of lacking fear, and where his adventuring ways landed him.
Batman, having interrogated Captain Cold, learned all about the prophetic nightmares that motivated the villains to action. Black Canary wondered if the Legion of Doom thought they were doing the right thing, but Batman explained that the villains wouldn't have tried to turn the situation to their advantage to lord over potential survivors if their hearts were truly in the right place.
Supergirl, Batgirl and Commissioner Gordon were all captured by Legion forces.
Hal Jordan had regressed to childhood, which is why he wished to heed the command of his parents not to talk to the Stranger who had paid him a visit. "So there you are, Hal. I've been looking everywhere for you." The Phantom Stranger then helped Hal with some self-realization psychobabble about not trying to remake the real world in his image/with great power comes great moderation/how the League helps Hal check his head/yadda yadda. The important thing was the the Stranger brought a power battery and a direction home, so Green Lantern could try to look cool saying his oath in a painted splash page.
All the heroes were together at the Fortress of Solitude, except John Stewart, who got himself kidnapped by the mind-controlled kid sidekicks of other heroes (mostly the Teen Titans and the Marvel Family.)
"Justice, Vol. 2," collecting issues #5-8 of the 2005 mini-series, was plotted and painted by Alex Ross. The script was provided by Jim Krueger, and the penciled layouts by Doug Braithwaite.
The first day of Comicpalooza was scheduled to be spent with my girlfriend. I'd blown off pre-registering, and we arrived 40 minutes late due to errands and a very necessary Chick-fil-A layover (sorry, but their nuggets trump my politics, especially on an empty stomach.) Nearby parking was $10, but at the center there were two lines spanning a few hundred feet waiting for the doors to open. Thankfully, there was no wait at the ticket booth, so we probably could have stood to have waited instead of standing in wait. Folks were passing out bags with the program and some fliers/coupons. My one complaint was an overly pushy steampunk vender working the line, trying to harangue parents into visiting his stand for cheap ray guns. He had to return ahead of the lines' entry though, and we collectively made it inside at a brisk pace.
One of the nice things about the previous two years of the con was their taking place on the third floor of George R. Brown, with its plush maroon carpeting and swanky lounges. I doubt dealers hefting boxes into service elevators or attendees corralled onto escalators agreed though, so this year everything was on the first floor. I was put off by the dull gray warehouse vibe, looking like every third convention anywhere else in the land, but I must admit that the temperature seemed to stay lower with two floors of buffer from a roof in Texas.
We were barely in the hall when a barker roped my GF into a tent to see "the strange thing." Another guy asked if I wanted to see "the strange thing." I thought about directing him to Montrose, but instead said my GF could see it, then tell me about it. "That's not the same thing!" Yeah, well I'll just be over here taking a picture of a Huntress cosplayer. My GF came out, and told me that the barker asked her what she though "the strange thing" was. She said, "I dunno... plastic?" He was not amused.
Artist Alley was conveniently located along the right hand side of Plaza A. My girlfriend was linked at the palm, so I dragged her on a canvassing tour of the area multiple times as I oriented myself to where artists were or would be. I had a short list of "name" artists I wanted to either secure commissions from early or blow off entirely, so as not to be a frustration or distraction. I spent nearly $600 in under an hour on my first three commissions, near to double my entire budget for any previous Comicpalooza. I say this not to brag, but because it weighs heavily on me. It's nice to finally have money to do this kind of thing, but it really gets hard to justify when I think about bills I could be paying instead, or hell, even charitable donations. The more I thought about it, the more I was troubled about the distribution of wealth. The cheapest sketch I bought was $5, and it kind of showed, so getting 120 of those sketches would not have equaled the three mentioned. However, when I find a perfectly good artist quoting me a perfectly reasonable $75-100 for a full figure, and I'm too broke to bite because I blew so much of my wad on three pieces, it hurts. When I've got a slew of guys I'd like to get $50 pieces from and ramp up the variety, there's a sting there. If I've got an artist knocking out really great $25 pieces, are three with "names" attached worth 24 from a talented unknown? I fear I may be a commission socialist. Sketchers of the world unite (and demand the scab not devalue everyone else's quotes!)
Based on prior experiences and my present unease, I realized that my comfort zone on an individual commission is about $80-100. I can go less, and I can go a bit more, but the price raises my expectations and irritations. For instance, one guy I was really looking forward to getting a specific piece from had online rates of $100, but they were 40% higher at the show. I could get a nice piece for the $40 difference in price alone, and since the guy didn't have a lot of commission examples online, I had no idea whether he could live up to that quote. I was pretty miffed about it actually, and I didn't see too many people at his table. I got about seven more commissions that day, all but one pretty damned awesome, and not a single one breaking triple digits in price.
One guy I was interested in working with was big on horror stuff, so I had some guys in mind for him to draw. However, from subject matter to dimensions to price, I had trouble pinning the guy down on anything, and gave up. The dude had some really nice scratchboard cards-- you know, those shiny black numbers where you take a knife and cut away until you get to some coppery/bronzy metal underneath? He even had a dye to color them. My girl dug them, and ended up working out a commission of her own. Well, that's something
Later, she took to Dirk Strangely, who I've avoided for two years running. I hate that Hot Topic goth stuff, and even his signage seemed to have a Danny Elfman soundtrack. However, once the GF had me standing in place, I noticed the guy had some genuinely good work on display. The GF decided on a print called "William the Pleaser". It was outtasight, and I noted the Dave McKean quality it had. The artist agreed, and mentioned having worked with McKean on a print. He also said that this piece, depicting Tom Waits, was the first time that he had produced a work purely for himself, irregardless of its saleability. Further along, the GF bought a couple of Big Bang Theory related prints by Robert James Luedke. I'm somewhat less proud of her taste there. The House word art by Jeffrey Loh redeemed her somewhat.
Toward the back of the alley, various dealers started to mingle their booths. At one steampunk area involving girls in corsets, I thought I spotted an ex of mine. Since my GF is kind of jealous/neurotic, I did not need that scene, and began a game of Avoid & No See.
Behind a massive wall lay Plaza B, the activity zone. I assume that since the main stage was still being constructed, Michael Biehn's scheduled Q&A involved Kyle Reese centering himself amidst a few score of fans, having an informal talk unassisted by any sound equipment. Pretty brave, if you ask me. I saw him a lot over the weekend, usually at his booth with Jennifer Blanc.
Some LARPers were in a pen demonstrating the fine art of whacking each other with foam weapons. Surprise-- the tall guy with the longest handle won. The GF had me sit through "Muggle Quidditch 101" which explained the rules of a Harry Potter game involving the guys who usually get picked last running around with sticks between their legs playing basketball by way of touch football. I used it as an opportunity to reorganize my commission list to account for the artists I'd passed on, but still had characters that I wanted somebody to draw. One of the guys from Arc Attack was playing guitar and singing "Lovesong," so I was content for the moment. The GF got bored with the muggles a few minutes into the game, as did seemingly better than half the audience, so we moved on. We both needed to use the restroom, so we descended two flights of stairs to the basement john. This amused me, and I dubbed it "The Pit of Micturition." Somebody at some point has lost more than pee down there.
Behind another wall was Plaza C, the convention equivalent of a shantytown. Gone were all the nice classrooms, meeting places, and theaters of the third floor. In their place was a warehouse full of black drapes on poles. Anyone who had anything to do with this section was well and truly screwed in the bunghole. At the right hand corner was a floor area for setting up miniatures, of which there were a handful spread far apart and a whole hell of a lot of floor. There were also tables for RPGs. I dubbed this the "Gamers' Ghetto," and mostly steered clear of it throughout the weekend. It was where dreams of convention planning competence went to die.
Back in Plaza A, I have no recollection of individual shop names, but I did get a kick out of the old nostalgia huts with dusty books and yellowed blister packs on the left side of the hall. One stand had tons of sealed trading cards from the '70s up at very reasonable prices, in case you had a hankering to wrap up your Growing Pains set. One local reporter bought a pack and ate the decades old gum inside. It was about as bad as one would expect, especially if like me you have not-so-fond memories of how awful those sharp shards of stank were new.
Joe Kubert wasn't around on Friday, but his school's booth was open. They were taking donations for Ronald McDonald House Charities by promoting a raffle for an original piece of Kubert art. I overheard someone later mention that Kubert had asked the con promoters if a Watchmen character would be okay. I bought a few tickets, but alas, never heard anything or saw the piece. All for a good cause, though.
There were a bunch of "professionals" involved with entertainment, gaming, etc. I don't know or care about any of that.
I didn't take this pic, but it's the same Huntress as before, and there was space to fill.
I needed to go to my niece's graduation ceremony, and wanted dinner before making the long drive out to the country. I was shooting for a five o'clock exit, but finishing touches were being done on one of the pieces that I didn't want to rush. I made a point of telling all the other artists with pending pieces that I'd just pick them up the next day. Testing was being done on the Arc Attack electrical show, and my gf wanted to see it, but that wouldn't start until later. To kill time, we caught some of the Braggart Family SideCircus. I realized that the girl I thought was my ex was in the show, that she was clearly too tall, and then there was the part about her resembling the ex as she appeared a decade ago (as opposed to the present.) So no, identity confusion there. Anyway, we watched a guy stand on top of another guy and juggle knives, followed by a dude on a bed of nails having a cinder block on his chest smashed with a sledgehammer. My gf had no stomach for the fellow hammering a nail into his nose, but by that point it was almost five, and my last piece was ready. About an hour later, I got a text that my most expensive commission was ready. I got a preview of it that night on Twitter though, so I knew what I had to look forward to...
In 2009 or so, the comics department of the popular video game website IGN.com put together a list of their Top 100 Comic Book Villains of All Time, and have finally followed up with the vastly less well considered Top 100 Comic Book Heroes of All Time. There is much here to mock and debate (in that order,) so I'll have to do it on an installment plan. Watch the video if you like, but expect a poverty of speech content...
20) Catwoman
The top twenty is too low. Despite constant costume changes, Catwoman is one of the most recognizable characters on the planet, breaking boundaries of both gender and race within the cultural consciousness. Her solo publishing track record is surprisingly solid, and in my experience, female fans are far more likely to embrace Seline Kyle that Wonder Woman. Truly one of the greats.
19) James Gordon
I'd have far less trouble with this if the rest of the list wasn't such a sham. Of course Commissioner Gordon is widely recognizable and worthy of inclusion, but at his heart he is still a supporting character, so where is Alfred Pennyworth? This also begs the question of where other significant others are, like Lois Lane and Mary Jane Watson? If you don't draw that line, you open yourself up for serious criticism.
18) The Thing
I've only known one guy whose favorite hero was Ben Grimm, a guy who has never carried a solo series longer than three years (unless you count the team-up title Marvel Two-In-One, which broke 100 issues.) The Thing has turned up in animation since the '60s, so he's hardly obscure, but he doesn't seem to work on his own, either. Once again, I feel you need a Fantastic Four group entry, not thinned out and rather dubious solo listings.
17) Barbara Gordon
Who doesn't love Batgirl and/or Oracle? Great character, versatile, uplifting... still not quite at Jim Gordon's level, which gets into the supporting character boondoggle. At the end of the day, Babs sits at a computer and tells other people what to do, which is problematic on a list like this, especially when her primary proxy is in the '90s somewhere.
16) Rorschach
I kind of hate Rorschach a little bit. I suppose he's here to represent for Watchmen, but he's also the poster child for pretentious, pointless deconstructionist super-heroes and anti-heroes with nauseating motivations (not to mention personal hygiene.) He's also at heart just a proxy for Steve Ditko's the Question, who is not on this list at all beyond such legacies/knock-offs.
15) Dream of the Endless
Neil Gaiman's The Sandman is one of the high water marks in comics, and doesn't seem to be going anywhere, despite the series ending better than a decade ago. That said, Morpheus was essentially a cypher that stories were created around, which is why his bubbly sister Death is the one everybody really loves.
14) Thor
The Odinson has had quite a comeback in recent years, with a big summer movie release doing okay numbers. I want to like Thor more than I actually do, and the enjoyable (if familiar) feature helped. Still, even with his elevated status at Marvel, the top fifteen seems a bit high.
13) Jean Grey
I liked this character growing up, but she is now one of the finest examples of everything I hate in mainstream comics. She's incredibly powerful, but her personality is less than distinct, and she's still defined by her relationships with the douchiest of male characters. She's the poster child for very dead characters dying in a spectacular fashion necessitating commemorative editions who still manage to come back to die some more. She's gone through a series of generic codenames until finally giving up and going by her Christian one. She's the queen of heel turns, which marks the only time in her career that she's actually had a good costume. She's been repeatedly cloned, whether literally or in role, and her powers are terribly inconsistent. Most damningly, she is best known as a victim, whether of her husband's emotional abuse, her teammate's unwanted advances, her latest cause of death, or her own instability.
12) Iron Man
One of my best friend's favorite heroes, and while it took me years to get it, one of the greatest super-heroes. While he's done the occasional left-appeasing "no more arms dealing" shows, Tony Stark is the conservative wet dream of money, power, influence, and magnificent toys. I love Robert Downey Jr.'s portrayal, and even if my value set is quite different, I can see the appeal of this type of character. It's also nice to finally see the guy make the A-list after years of skimming the Cs.
11) Dick Grayson (Robin)
The first comic book sidekick, and one of the most recognizable characters in the world... as Robin. As Nightwing, not so much, so his current gig as the alternate Batman who stays in Gotham City and deals with Bruce's brat will likely be good for him in the long run. Hopefully, a better Nightwing will come out the other end, because Spider-Man with a plunging neckline/vampire collar/yellow armpit gliders/mullet/really long ponytail/batons ain't cutting it.
10) Daredevil
Exactly the problem with a list like this. Matt Murdock is absolutely a fantastic character who has benefited from a number of exemplary runs receiving critical acclaim. However, part of the point of the character is that he's unpopular with the public, underpowered, handicapped, and has grim noir-influenced adventures in a book that skirts the line of mature readers. The Man Without Fear does not exist to be a top ten favorite super-hero, but as an alternative to that sort, especially if that means no more crappy Ben Affleck vehicles.
9) The Hulk
Strongest one there is. Before Wolverine, the Incredible Hulk was the personification of the rageaholic anti-hero, and he's still the dreamiest to steroid abusers the world over. He's big, he's unpredictable, he's got a solid creative pedigree, and we actually do like him when he's angry.
8) Wally West (The Flash)
Yeah, no. Look, I dug it when Mike Baron played up West's less admirable traits as a right-wing, money-grubbing, adulterous creep. Once Mark Waid recast him as a Silver Age style legacy hero, I was bored to tears. He's Runs-Fast-Man, the single least interesting power in my book. If you're so fast, you should beat everybody before I can turn the page. If you don't, you don't know what you're doing. Barry Allen works around this by balancing police work and the sheer outlandish nature of his villains, but all Wally did was run fast while fighting other guys who ran fast. Plus, he now has a young family, thoroughly domesticating him. I don't think a Flash has been built yet that the general public will embrace outside of a team, but whatever Barry Allen's faults, they go double for Wally West.
7) Hal Jordan (Green Lantern)
The last of the lazy combos, but it occurs to me this means only Hal and John Stewart made the list. I can live with that. It remains to be seen how well white Green Lantern will go over this summer on film, seeing as black Green Lantern has shown the most traction outside the comic book audience. Personally, I've never forgiven Hal for "Emerald Twilight," and the more I read of his Bronze Age adventures, the better I recognized Hal within Parallax. DC marketing has been pushing GL, Flash, Superman and Batman as their big guns, and I'm curious to see if that will prove a mistake.
6) Captain America
Well, the latest movie trailers have been much less terrible than the early ones, and I've had no desire to read the Captain America comic book for years. Still, f-yeah, I love the Star-Spangled Avenger. I would have bet on Thor at the start of the summer, but Cap's recognition factor is way higher, although it remains to be seen if the rest of the world wants patriotic shield slinging. Flogging the horse one more time, I believe characters like Supergirl and Aquaman are better known and loved internationally, while Blade, Green Arrow, the Punisher and the Crow probably play much better to younger generations. Not only do I like confidence in Cap's relevance, but I think another box office bomb could do irreparable harm to his standing in the super-hero community.
5) Wonder Woman
An argument could be made for the fourth spot, but I'm just glad Princess Diana was awarded the lion's share of her due respect. If only more comics stories reflected her stature.
4) Wolverine
The most popular super-hero created since the Silver Age ended, and the sole truly successful X-Man on his own merits.
3) Spider-Man
Peter Parker and Bruce Wayne tend to swap out the top spot in terms of dinero and fan love, but IGN was clearly working off of their own weird, subjective standards. "The Clone Saga" and "One More Day" can't have helped.
2) Batman
It's kind of nice to see the Dark Knight out of the top spot for once, even if it's totally unrealistic. Besides outselling Superman by a wide margin for decades and being the far superior merchandising machine, the Caped Crusader's last movie was the seventh highest-grossing film of all time in unadjusted dollars. My interest in Batman died long ago, so when I note his accomplishments, it's purely objective.
1) Superman
I have such a love/hate relationship with the Man of Steel, but he's (kind of) the first, and (sometimes) the greatest. However, he inflicted Smallville on the world. Send him back three spaces for that.
Bonus Round:
IGN collects celebrities interviewed about their favorite super-heroes.
Jason Statham: The Hulk
Theresa Palmer (I Am Number Four): The Flash
Seth Rogen: Batman
Carla Gugino: Catwoman (Prrrrfect!)
James Cameron: Spider-Man
Matt Damon: Chris Nolan's Batman
Amy Adams: Superman (with a shrug)
Steven Yeun (The Walking Dead): Spider-Man
January Jones: Emma Frost (White Queen indeed)
Owen Wilson: The Silver Surfer (great delivery)
Isla Fisher: Wonder Woman
Diane Kruger: Wonder Woman
Minka Kelly: Wonder Woman
Jenna Fisher: Wonder Woman
Olivia Wilde: Wonder Woman
Channing Tatum: Gambit (ex-male stripper, folks)
Mark Wahlberg: Underdog (WTF?)
Michelle Rodriguez: Catwoman (no thanks to the movie)
Michael Sheen: Superman and the Sandman (Morpheus)
Aaron Eckhart: Green Lantern
Robert Kirkman: Spider-Man (Celebrity?)
Djimon Hounsou: The Black Panther
Dianna Agron (Glee): Donatello
Michael Peña (Crash): Preacher
Timothy Olyphant: The Silver Surfer
Joel Silver: Lobo
William Fichtner: Superman (George Reeves version)
Dan Fogler (Who?): Wolverine
Elton John: Superman
Jamie Bell: Tin-Tin
James McAvoy: Batman
Nicholas Cage: The Hulk or Ghost Rider
Helen Mirren: Catwoman
Liam Neeson: Superman
Jeff Bridges: Green Lantern
Johnny Depp: The Sub-Mariner (also, Sgt. Rock)
Christian Bale: Batman (also, Superman)
In an Arabian desert, the Flash broke up Captain Cold's mini-harem. "You tried to kill me. And that means you tried to kill everyone I hope to save until the day I die. That's a lot of people." Cold should have pointed out that if he had succeeded, the Scarlet Speedster still would have saved everybody he saved until the day he died, but since he didn't die, he might ought to consider swapping a chemistry class for some remedial English. Instead, Cold drew a replica pistol made of ice, which Flash totally fell for, so maybe he needed another police detective class, too. Captain Cold froze up a hall of mirrors, and when that didn't work, created sculptured duplicates of himself. Failing yet again, Captain Cold was run to the Fortress of Solitude.
Still trapped in his power ring, Hal Jordan argued with simulations of his brothers about the benefits of lacking fear, and where his adventuring ways landed him.
Batman, having interrogated Captain Cold, learned all about the prophetic nightmares that motivated the villains to action. Black Canary wondered if the Legion of Doom thought they were doing the right thing, but Batman explained that the villains wouldn't have tried to turn the situation to their advantage to lord over potential survivors if their hearts were truly in the right place.
Supergirl, Batgirl and Commissioner Gordon were all captured by Legion forces.
Hal Jordan had regressed to childhood, which is why he wished to heed the command of his parents not to talk to the Stranger who had paid him a visit. "So there you are, Hal. I've been looking everywhere for you." The Phantom Stranger then helped Hal with some self-realization psychobabble about not trying to remake the real world in his image/with great power comes great moderation/how the League helps Hal check his head/yadda yadda. The important thing was the the Stranger brought a power battery and a direction home, so Green Lantern could try to look cool saying his oath in a painted splash page.
All the heroes were together at the Fortress of Solitude, except John Stewart, who got himself kidnapped by the mind-controlled kid sidekicks of other heroes (mostly the Teen Titans and the Marvel Family.)
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Coarse Language: Listener Discretion is Advised
Platinum (Again? Spread thin?) and Gold pretended to cover Green Arrow and Black Canary, but that duo was secretly teleported into a sewer tunnel by Zatanna. Once there, they were attacked by Clayface (again,) who was contained by Green Arrow's "shadow," Elongated Man. Once the deception was detected, Gold and Platinum tangled with Parasite and Metallo, 'Tina ending up worse for wear. Superman knocked Toyman about while keeping a choke hold on Bizarro, but then Lead taunted Solomon Grundy and Kal-El took the brunt of the resultant punishment.
Green Arrow insisted that Black Canary save her sonic powers for a planned moment of truth, but once the pair located the supporting cast hostages, Ollie was left to deal with the possessed Supergirl. Dinah argued against Ollie firing a kryptonite arrow at the Maid of Might, a discussion super-hearing easily allowed Kara to act upon. Supergirl dodged the arrow, which struck John Stewart in the chest. As it turned out, all went according to plan, since the arrow actually had a power ring on its tip. Green Lantern declared "You're not killing any super-heroes today, Supergirl. You're going to help us save the world. Just like always.
"Chapter Ten" was plotted and painted by Alex Ross. The script was provided by Jim Krueger, and the penciled layouts by Doug Braithwaite.
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