Monday, February 21, 2011

Shazam!: The Monster Society of Evil #2 (May, 2007)



Billy Batson dreamed of a brown haired young girl with a pink ribbon in her hair and a doll in her hand… his missing baby sister. Billy’s little TV was on, and the news announced the confirmation of attorney general Sivana. An ad for the circus attracted Billy’s attention, as he figured he could try to get a job cleaning up after the animals.

Outside, Billy saw the pretty reporter Helen Fidelity preparing to broadcast live. While the boy was smitten, Helen screamed at the brat to get off her microphone wire. A press conference with the diminutive Sivana was commencing, but he lacked a box to reach the podium, and so had to be helped on top of it. The doctor announced an investigation into whether the giant footprints were a terrorist hoax, and to give his “personal assurance that the Department of Technology and Heartland Security will go through the credit accounts of every citizen until we find something suspicious! And when we do, we’ll lock the evildoers up, and throw away the key!! Remember, the terrorists win if we change our lifestyles, so go immediately to your local mall and spend, spend, spend! Keep our economy strong!!”

Billy was surprised to find armies or ants marching off in the same direction, buy was distracted when a boot landed in their midst, connected to LaGreen. This time, the sleeze brought a buddy with a crowbar after ”his” money. Billy led the pair on a chase to the circus, where a ringmaster called the Great Carlini was announcing the unleashing of trained alligator people. Well, not so well trained that they didn’t eat Carlini. “Everyone stay calm! There’s no need for everyone to get hurt… All we want… is the children!” The first child-snack they grabbed was recognized by Billy as his sister, so he said his magic word, and Captain Marvel came to the rescue. However, LaGreen and his portly pal had witnessed the transformation.



As Captain Marvel prepared to rescue the other children, a talking tiger asked, “Excuse me… is this a private fight, or can anyone join? …Relax, Captain. I’m on your side.” The tiger attacked the alligators while Marvel helped the kids, and Billy’s little sister was instantly smitten. However, everyone was distracted by the giant stupid stupid rat creature that appeared from out of nowhere. The tiger and the girl disappeared in the confusion, so Captain Marvel flew up to confront this new threat. “I AM MR. MIND… I COME TO YOUR WORLD TO REMOVE ALL TRACE OF HUMAN CIVILIZATION… ALL THE OTHER CREATURES OF EARTH WILL JOIN WITH ME… AND REJOICE! …WE SHALL MAKE OF YOUR WORLD A GLORIOUS SOCIETY… A SOCIETY OF CREATURES YOU WOULD CALL MONSTERS…” Captain Marvel learned it was Billy’s curiosity that had summoned this Monster Society of Evil, and that large as the creature was, it was fast enough to snatch him out of the sky. Marvel managed to get loose of a mighty mechanical fist, but the pounding he gave the titan’s eyeball didn’t make a dent.

Captain Marvel gave up until Mr. Mind offered his next message, and instead surveyed the area for Billy’s lost sister. She was located hanging out by the riverfront, and began kissing the Captain’s face when he arrived. “You’re my hero, Mr. Marvel! I love you!” The Captain revealed he was her brother, which freaked the little girl out, so she called for her new talking tiger friend. “Not to worry, dear. Captain Marvel and I are old friends, isn’t that right, Billy? …Don’t you recognize your old neighbor? You used to run errands for me… Talky Tawny! I admit I look a little different, but the fur helps keep my old hips warm… I’m an ifrit, boy! A wandering spirit that changes from human to animal! …You see, I work for the wizard, too! And right now, my job is to make sure you are adjusting to your new life! …you are a force of nature-- a protector guardian. That means you have joined with a mortal whose name is Billy Batson. Speaking of which, when was the last time you let him out to breathe?”



The joke was to be taken literally, as Billy was huffing and puffing when the forgetful Marvel said his magic word. Tawny was pleased to learn Billy remembered everything from Captain Marvel’s time in his place. “Wonderful. That is a sign you and the captain are a good fit! Together you will make a powerful guardian!” The girl was grossed out she had kissed her brother, and wanted to know how he changed back and forth. Her name was Mary Bromfield, and she had run away from home because her hateful foster mother blamed her for Mr. Bromfield’s having left. Mary wanted to come live with Billy, but Batson thought it was too nasty a place for her to live. They bonded over their mutual love of the “cool idea” to join the circus.

A monolithic and near identical companion joined Mr. Mind’s standing harbinger of doom, so Billy called down the magic. Mary was struck by a stray bolt of lightning and thrown into a nearby car. The vehicle collapsed under her weight, as the child Mary reappeared wearing a gender- & age-appropriate variation of the Captain Marvel costume. Mary Marvel she can fly and move at great speeds, but her immaturity peeves Talky Tawny, who demands Captain Marvel get her back in line. Mary lacked super-strength and respect for the Captain’s authority, but perhaps she would display unique talents while investigating the newly arrived invader…

Chapter 2: “Nzib Gzpvh Gsv Xzpv!” was written & drawn by Jeff Smith

Sunday, February 20, 2011

2009 Black Lantern Nightblade design by Joe Prado

Click To Enlarge


Nightblade admittedly had a stupid, nonsensical '90s name, a less than inspired costume, and an m.o. very reminiscent of Longshot. This does not matter, because Nightblade was one of the most fun New Bloods in one of the best Bloodlines annuals, a viable Asian DC hero independent of a white super's legacy, and his powers were radically visual. Chop of his legs, and he'll hop at you until he can grow them back in a swift, ooey-gooey fashion. I refuse to believe Nightblade is dead, so I'm going to assume/delude that this was a soulless "duplicate" Nightblade that formed Maddrox the Multiple Man-like from a Superboy Prime bisection, with the real thing digging through your kitchen draws for some steak knives to throw at Geoff Johns.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Bloodlines: 18 Page Samplers Online



PyroTwilight at Scans Daily left a comment yesterday mentioning his amusement about New Blood coverage on this blog and how "I'm also posting about the event issue by issue..." Since my own plans to synopsizes the event stalled out months ago, I thought folks might like to take a look at what P.T. has to offer:

Outbreak
Lobo Annual #1: Part 1
"Superman" The Man of STEEL Annual #2: Part 2
Batman Shadow of the Bat Annual #1: Part 3
Flash Annual #6: Part 4
New Titans Annual #9: Part 5
Superman Annual #5: Part 6
Green Lantern Annual #2: Part 7
Batman Annual #17: Part 8
Justice League International Annual #4: Part 9

Earthplague
Robin Annual #2: Part 1

PyroTwilight also served up an intriguing lead:

"One interesting tidbit for those who don't have/use Facebook is that Dan Didio is being somewhat mysterious and has began researching the Bloodlines annuals and the New Bloods spawned from them. Whether that means we may be seeing more of the New Bloods is a good question but it has me excited. Hopefully it won't be to round up the still living New Bloods to gun them down..."

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Flash #2 (July, 1987)



Picking up from last issue, Wally West returned home to find he'd won the lottery and, received a "present"... the private investigator's heart. The giver, Vandal Savage, was in the room. The vicious immortal would like to kill this new Flash... drink his blood... take his force. Savage had asked his computer who this new Flash was, and where he lived.

Vandal Savaged used ancient sorcery to contain the Flash in his Brooklyn apartment, with every exit leading directly into Hell. The Scarlet Speedster and the immortal maniac clashed, until the Flash managed to kick Savage out the "door."

Wally West paid a visit to the doctor, and learned his sprain had gotten worse. West made his own use of a computer, to check out Savage's alias. That night, Francis Kane slept over, because that's the smart thing to do when a homicidal maniac has your number.



Governor Cuomo himself gave Wally his lottery check, and West went from tipping his cabbie a quarter to $20. Wally and Francis ate out at La Boheme, then danced at Club Neon. It was there Vandal Savage chose to attack, initially against fellow patrons. Wally had to run out of a building to save a girl, only to find himself locked out.

Francis Kane used her powers of magnetism to fend off Vandal Savage, going so far as to launch a fork into the immortal's fuzzy mug. The Flash managed to reenter Club Neon, but then Francis used a dessert cart to push Savage out a window. The villain vanished, and the couple decided to spend the night at the Ritz, with Francis in a nightee wally had bought her.

The Flash visited Titans Tower to check up on Savage through his former teammates' computer system. Wally figured Savage would keep a low profile, but then again, Vandal was pretty pissed at him. Cyborg offered Wally help, should he need it.

Wally bought himself a house in Southampton, and invited Francis to stay.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

1992 Alien Parasite Tongue Detail (Featuring Glonth) Design by Arthur Adams

Click To Enlarge


There's a fresh batch of Bloodlines Parasite scans taken from reference material sent out to creators on the annual event, and they're courtesy of "The Online Home of Chuck Dixon," THE DIXONVERSE!. Dixon wrote a few of those annuals, and probably co-created a number of the New Bloods. For years, I labored under under the assumption Dixon was behind Ballistic, but that was actually Doug Moench. I even had a nice second amendment joke lined up, but Dixon was actually responsible for introducing Geist and Razorsharp, which I'll try not to hold against him.

Most of the Art Adams work I've seen has been character model sheets, but this here is an intriguing exception. The basic premise of the Bloodlines parasites was that they were H.R. Giger style predatory aliens who would serve as the villains in a summer annual event. While the design debt is obvious, a twist was added in that the parasites had individual personalities and physical attributes based on the seven Cardinal Sins, and that they could assume a human form a piece.

Both Marvel and DC decided they would also use each of their summer events as a platform to debut a hot new character find of the '90s. Marvel didn't have an overarching motivation for the spontaneous avalanche of dozens of new heroes and villains beyond pulling money out of speculators' pockets by polybagging each annual with a "rookie" trading card. DC made the arbitrary effort a little more palatable by taking a page from Marvel's mutant books by declaring all of their "New Bloods" were the product of one source.

As a callback to Giger's "jackhammer jaws," the Bloodlines parasites had a prehensile oral probe that would attach itself to the back of a victimized human's neck. Like vampires, the parasites lived off a bodily liquid, but they preferred spinal fluid to blood. Also like vampires and Romero zombies, the creatures' bite would sometimes transform the human victim, making them super-powered. It's cool to see Adams set the standard for the disturbing visuals for these parasite attacks, and that he used one of my favorites, Glonth, as his demonstration model. I wonder who the androgynous victim was, though?

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Superman On Sale Here!

Click To Enlarge


Jason Liebig has edited for Marvel's X-Titles and Desperado Publishing, as well as spending time at DC Comics in the early '90s. He's quite the aficionado for pop culture ephemera, with an emphasis on the 1970s (bumper stickers, concert tickets, etc.) The man also has a massive collection of product packaging like cereal boxes, candy wrappers and the like at his flicker account. After passing through a few hundred pages of material over a span of hours, I thought I'd offer a few spotlight posts of images Liebig has to offer DC fans.

For instance, Superman's name and likeness have been used to push countless products over the years, and just to give you an idea, check out these links:


Besides the 1989 Superman titles promotion poster pictured above that was used to announce George Pérez's arrival on the books, Liebig also has ginormous high resolution scans of the following:

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Direct Currents: Sunday, February 13, 2011



DC Bullets





Exclusive: Superman's Undisclosed Character Revealed

1: Lois Lane WILL be in the film. 2: The character these lovely actresses have come out for is none other than a Kryptonian villainess who is going by the name of URSA.

First Ever DC Comics and Hero Initiative Collaboration: Justice League of America #50

The Hero Initiative, a charity dedicated to helping comic creators in medical or financial need, most proudly announces their new partnership in the Justice League Of America #50 project with DC Comics. This is the first collaboration with DC comics ever and Hero is chomping at the bit to pull the collection together. The call has gone out and dozens of artists are putting pen to paper. DC has generously donated 100 blank-covered cardstock copies of Justice League Of America #50 to Hero, and work is being created by well-known stars such as Jim Lee, Alex Ross, George Perez, Jason Bone, Jim Valentino, and many many more.

Superman, Wonder Woman And Captain Marvel Sell Safe Sex To India

Put It On, an art exhibition at the Nature Morte gallery in Delhi features Superman, Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel as part of a safe sex message to spread awareness of AIDS and sex education.

Deconstructing Lichtenstein: Source Comics Revealed and Credited

Needless to say, Roy Lichtenstein has few fans in the comic book industry. Art Spieglman, author of Maus, summarized the industry's feelings in an interview with Publishers Weekly. "Lichtenstein did no more or less for comics than Andy Warhol did for soup."

Batman: Plutocrat

By their nature as vigilantes, acting outside or above the law, most superheroes have a troubling undercurrent of aristocratic, undemocratic, authoritarian values. Only the hero, not the police, judges, lawmakers, and average citizen, can effectively protect and improve the city they patrol, and god help anyone who gets in their way. No one exemplifies these tendencies more than Batman, the ultimate aristocratic hero.

Detective Comics 27 – Printed And Production Art Side By Side

So anyway, Mark Seifert posted those Detective Comics #27 production pages earlier today, and I was taken aback by just how much more defined they were than the published art. So I found the comparative pages, pages 2 to 5 from the comic, to compare them all against…

English, American – supermen all look the same to the real superpowers

Read the small print and the invasion of the British superheroes starts to look less heroic...

Super Friends Valentines from 1980

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and for a lot of us, that means it's time once again to try to find the best way to express our feelings to that special someone through the medium of a brightly colored piece of paper with a pun on it.

Classic Teen Heroes Boogie Down in the Art of Bill Walko

If all superheroes lived out their lives in ways that mirrored the social activities of Archie Comics and Flintstones character spinoff series, the world would look a lot like the works of artist of Bill Walko. Walko has composed some lively sequences involving well-known faces from the Teen Titans, X-Men and Wonder Twins that would fit nicely into their own animated Hanna-Barbera teen bands.



Costume Weekend


Legion of Super-Pets

Green Lantern Corps

DC Comics Ame-Comi

Corsets Of The DC Universe

Superheroines In Aprons




BLOGS


The Absorbascon
Ten Things I Learned from the Attack of Jean Loring's Brain

Amazon Princess
Happy Wonder Woman by Steve Rude

The Aquaman Shrine
Superheroes Puzzle - 1981
Custom Mera Statue

Armagideon Time
Nobody’s Favorites: The Wanderers

Being Carter Hall
Custom Hawkman Plushie
Read: Brightest Day #17

Comics Make Me Happy!
If Ted Kord comes back to life and gets a solo series, I want this guy drawing him
The Question multi artist jam!

Diana Prince: Wonder Woman
2010 Super Powers Wonder Woman LithoPrint
2006 JBQ and friends commission by Kevin Nowlan

El Jacone's Comic Book Bunker
Everybody's Linking For The Weekend

Every Day Is Like Wednesday
(you celebrate Super Bowl Sunday your way, I'll celebrate it my way)

Firestorm Fan
Never-Produced Kenner Firestorm Action Figures – 1985
Firestorm en Español: La Guerra de los Elementales
Jim Lee Redesigned the Firestorm Costume

Girls Gone Geek
WTF? Wednesday: Neigh, I Say!
Friday Favorite: Ravager
WTF? Wednesday: Bottoms Up!

The Idol-Head of Diabolu
1998 Unused Martian Manhunter Cover Art by Christopher Moeller
1999 Unused Community Chest Card #2 Art by Mike Allred
2006 Martian Manhunter: From Bruce Wayne's private files in the Batcomputer

Justice League Detroit
The Lion of Hell
Vixen: Return of the Lion #2 (January, 2009)
2009 “Curry and Dibny” by Evan “Doc” Shaner

Power of the Atom
2009 Black Lantern Damage design by Joe Prado

Silver Age Comics
The Secret Origin of the Phantom Zone
Superboy #68
Clark Kent: Not An Atheist

Subject : THE SUICIDE SQUAD (Task Force X)
Casting call for the Suicide Squad cinematic release finalized
The Secret Six , just another brick in The Wall

Supergirl Comic Box Commentary
Bullet Review: Zatanna #9
DC Comics Year By Year
Review: Superman 80-Page Giant 2011
Supergirl In DK2

The Thought Experiment
The Dark Knight Rises fan poster art
Daily Batman: Sabado, Sabado, Sabado

Tommy Tejeda
Cold Love: Happy Valentine's Day from Killer Frost & Iceman


Weekend Review Section 12/31/10


The Buy Pile by Hannibal Tabu:
FEBRUARY 2ND, 2011
FEBRUARY 9TH, 2011

Comics Of The Weak: Hold, Sweet Hosanna, Lest Thy Bacon Trickle Down by Tucker Stone

Comic shop comics: Jan. 12-19 by J. Caleb Mozzocco

Brightest Day Is Any Day For All I Care #95 by Diabolu Frank

AICN Comic Reviews for Release Date: 1/26/11

AICN Comic Reviews for Release Date: 2/2/11

Saturday, February 12, 2011

2010 Super Powers Plastic Man LithoPrint



This eBay find is probably about as legit as Eel O'Brian, but it isn't like DC Direct is going to knock out a twenty buck poster featuring swell Plastic Man stock art anytime ever as long as we both shall live.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

2009 Black Lantern Geist design by Joe Prado

Click To Enlarge


I find it odd that Moon Knight co-creator Doug Moench came up with the gun-toting Ballistic, and longtime Punisher writer Chuck Dixon created the nighttime avenger Geist. Then again, Dixon also wrote most of the '90s Moon Knight series, and Geist was more of a poor man's Spider-Man anyway. Actually, I think that undersells the character's liability. Geist was the destitute, unwashed, toothless man's Friendly Neighborhood WTF? The thing about Geist is that most of his adventures weren't half-bad, and his personality (however derivative) was likable enough. He had a nice costume, designed by the artist of his very attractive looking debut story, Jim "Your Vagina is Haunted" Balent. No, what killed Geist was his powers, or rather lack thereof.

Geist could turn sort of invisible under very specific circumstances. You couldn't see him in direct light. He therefore became a nighttime avenger. Why would he do that, you ask? You see, Geist couldn't see himself in direct light, because he went blind when the power was in use. In low light, he had enhanced vision, but he didn't turn invisible in low light. That wouldn't be a major problem if he was a ninja or a grizzled ex-cop, but Geist was just a random unexceptional douche-bag who made quips and pranced around in a jazzercise outfit.

This colossal disability did not stop Geist from being one of the most (pun intended) visible New Bloods to come out of Bloodlines. He was part of a group that teamed-up with the Martian Manhunter, was drawn by Phil Jimenez a few times, and was in the "super-group" the Blood Pack from 1995 until his death alongside them a decade later in Infinite Crisis.

It takes an exceptional combination of elements to create a super-hero that can become world renowned and stand the test of time. It only takes the ridiculous handicapping of an already lame power to insure that you will someday be killed with little fanfare in an event book. Such is the song of Geist.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Super-Heroes on Gay Marriage

I originally posted this elsewhere in late 2008, and got a kick out of it when I stumbled upon it looking for something else. I thought about updating it, but I don't think it was worth rewriting a good bit to keep up with continuity.

Superman:

"I've vowed to protect all the peoples of the Earth, which means I must avoid taking stances on political issues like this. It could compromise my access the world over."

Spider-Man:

"Oh man, I so don't want to talk about marriage anymore. Seriously. But look, whatever makes people happy, I say go for it."

Batman:

"No. I've heard the whispers-- about what goes on between myself and my boy companion in the Batcave-- for years. Every time some 'artist' tries to appropriate our image for their agenda, I call my lawyers. Whenever I think of them, it reminds me of the times the Joker has touched me inappropriately. It makes me want to smash their faces with my gloved fist."

Robin:

"I shaved my legs and wore short pants with pointed booties until I turned eighteen. Any hang-ups I had about sexuality, I worked out years ago."

Daredevil:

"The precedent is pretty clear on this, which explains why judges are now regularly overturning gay marriage bans. The United States should not tolerate second-class status being bestowed upon any of its legal citizens, regardless of sexual preference."

Captain Marvel:

*blush* "I-- you mean-- and they-- ? Holy Moley, I've got to go!"

Ghost Rider:

"Only the guilty must fear my Penance Stare!"

Green Arrow:

"You fundamentalists and the rest of you sex police are no better than Darkseid!"

The Hulk:

"Hulk say people are people! Why can't people live in harmony?!? Why can't people leave Hulk alone!?! Hulk smash all people!!!"

Hawkman:

"Filthy humans and your deviant practices! It's unclean, and spreads disease amongst your kind!"

Wolverine:

"Ain't my business, one way or the other. Your's neither. Let 'em be, eh?"

Wonder Woman:

"My Amazon nation of Themyscira is often referred to as 'Paradise Island.' There is a reason for that. Also, when I first came to Man's World, I read all of your Judeo-Christan-Islamic Bibles. There were no derogative mentions of lesbianism, and far fewer condemnations of male homosexuality than of the still common practices of eating pork and committing adultery. Suffering Sappho, why can't people just respect one another in this modern age!"

Iron Man:

"If they want to be as miserable as the married couples I know, that's their problem, not mine. I've got real issues to deal with, like superhuman registration, directing S.H.I.E.L.D., the 50 State Initiative, and a Skrull invasion."

The Flash:

"I'm from the Midwest. We don't believe in all that liberal nonsense. I've worked alongside and fought against gays, so I don't deny the lifestyle, but Christian marriage is between a man and woman. It's a simple fact."

The Thing:

"Y'know, we all talked about that stuff at the H.Q., and we all figger it's no big deal. Reed yacked about all that anthropological yadda-yadda, an' Sue n' Johnny both get all their fashion tips from the light-in-the-loafer types. What's the harm?"

Green Lantern:

"I've visited more planets than I can count, and been exposed to about as many different cultures. It's hard to get bent out of shape over Proposition 8 when you're serving the laws of the Guardians of the Universe."

The Punisher:

"I saw my wife and children gunned down in front of me. I've spent decades since ridding the world of scum in their memory. I believe in the sanctity of marriage. I don't want to see some chic queer meth-heads turning it into a joke."

Aquaman:

"I can name sixteen fish and four amphibians, including salmon, that practice homosexuality. It's natural. Your certificates mean nothing."

The Mighty Thor:

"Verily, thine gods in Asgard wish her people to make the womb fruitful. Thou shouldst not be as fuðflogi nor flannfluga, but produce offspring who wouldst till the soil. Still, should a man find needs unfulfilled whilst away from womenfolk in battle, he may satisfy the call of his loins with a lesser male. 'Tis preferable thou dost not become sansorðinn, as it dost not befit the warrior!"

John Constantine:

"What, did Thatcher drop a bastard child in the States and name her Coulter on the way back 'cross the pond? Why should anyone care if some bloke up another wants to make like husband and wife?"

Captain America:

"It's a common misperception that I'm some sort of nationalist, fighting for the interests of one political party or another. People also forget I'm a New Yorker who lived through Prohibition. I even grew up with a gay childhood friend, though I didn't find that out for years after. I've sworn to the Uniformed Services Oath, which means I'm willing to give my life to support and defend the ideals of the Constitution signed by our Founding Fathers in 1776. Based on it, the Bill of Rights, and the spirit behind their creation, I can't imagine their intention was ever to restrict the freedom of our nation's citizens. If consenting adults are willing to enter into the union of marriage, regardless of gender, I'm perfectly willing to defend their choice to do so."

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Who's Dat: Hate



PERSONAL DATA
Alter Ego: Hate
Occupation: Crime Enthusiast
Marital Status: Unknown
Known Relatives: None
Group Affiliation: None
Base of Operations: Mobile
Eyes: Pure white
Hair: White
First Appearance: Plastic Man #5 (Autumn, 1946)

HISTORY
Within a book called Evil Knowledge there exists a spell involving the burning of phosphorus and sulphur [sic] while speaking the words “Abraxas--- sator arepo tenet---.“ The incantation would invoke the mysterious being called Hate, something of a genie who would grant malevolent wishes.

The book was once found by a nebbish named Mr. Giglamp in a used book store, who decided to perform the ritual in the belief that it was a recipe. Hate passed by Mr. Giglamp’s window, and asking what the fellow would like most in the world, Hate awarded him a fistful of money. “That and more, if you want it! You read the words and burned the materials… I’ve waited a long time to be called!” Mr. Giglamp was happy with how things turned out, and was open to doing Hate another favor whenever he needed it. Hate made it clear Giglamp had plenty more to do, whether he liked it or not. “I’m not satisfied with the way certain professions are being run! Crime, for instance… Bungling idiots practice it! You shall carry out my enthusiasms! I have plenty of connections! Do as I say and you’ll go far!”

The diminutive Giglamp showed up at the hideout of the Rickens gang, whose leader had just gotten out of jail after having been pinched by Plastic Man. Hate trailed behind, seemingly invisible, urging Giglamp on. Hate gave Giglamp a hypodermic shot in the arm that made him “invulnerable—powerful—merciless,” which was used to flatten a burly gang member. Hate then gave the rest of the gang a shot that had the opposite effect, “weakens and confuses!” It was no work at all to show Rickens the door, allowing Giglamp to take over the gang.

Giglamp led the burglars to rob the Jewel Museum of the priceless Crown of Cleopatra. This was accomplished by stealing one guard’s uniform, and then having swift crime tailors doctor up a replica set for the gang to wear. However, Plastic Man and Woozy Winks had been following Rickens since his release, and questioned the still dizzy thug after his ejection. Plas made his way to the museum, and threatened one phony guard with drowning to extract information, but the rest of the gang got away.

Hate left Giglamp to his own devices for a bit, as the nerd relished counting the loot with his gang. Rickens showed up, hoping for a cut from the heist that had been his idea, but he was turned away. However, Plastic Man was hidden behind Rickens, and acted as his discreet enforcer in collecting the ill-gotten gains. While Plastic Man ensnared the lot until a paddy wagon could arrive, Woozy Winks followed Giglamp back to his home.

As Giglamp tried to perform the incantation from memory, Woozy stole the book of evil knowledge and read the same incantation backwards. Giglamp choked on a red gas that emitted from his lamp, then wandered off into the street. Woozy gave the book to Plastic Man, who while not necessarily superstitious, still chose to chuck it into the harbor waters.

Without being called, Hate found Giglamp hiding in an alley. Hate had no use for failures, and with the book destroyed, believed this would probably be his last appearance. Before he went though, he caused Giglamp to die of fear. Police found no marks on the body, and Plastic Man chalked it up to suicide, “in a manner of speaking…”

POWERS & WEAPONS:
Hate carried a stout hypodermic needle that could enhance or weaken people with a shot.

Created by: Jack Cole

Monday, February 7, 2011

Shazam! The Monster Society of Evil #1 (April, 2007)



A cockroach crawled out of the rain along an extension cord running through a window into an abandoned tenement through to the tiny portable television watched by young derelict Billy Batson. Billy shooed the vermin away from the apple he had been saving.

A banging came at the disheveled slum door, which Billy had already taken the precaution of barring with a chair and beam of wood. LaGreen was a hooded scumbag who stole money from homeless children for his own needs, and he figured Billy owed him “rent.” LaGreen managed to force his way into the hovel, and when Billy refused to give up the change his buddy Talky Tawny had let him keep, Lagreen decided to teach a lesson in fear at the sole of his boot.

Flashback: Billy sitting at a nighttime trash can fire with the friendly hobo Talky. Tawny was a thin older man with bronze skin who wore a thick goatee and a ratty red ballcap. Talky let Billy run errands for him, and paid him with the remaining change. Tawney was a wanderer by choice, but with winter setting in, he felt Billy needed to find a real shelter. Billy didn’t like the city shelter, as he was an independent lad who wished to keep company with folk like Talky.

Billy was distracted by a shadowy figure in a hat and trench coat he swore looked like his deceased father. Billy left Talky to pursue the figure into an abandoned subway station. A magnificently ornate train pulled into the station, and when the figure stepped aboard, Billy followed. The figure refused to speak until the first stop, when a voice that set Billy’s hair on end ordered him to get off. Billy complied, but was surprised when the figure remained seated as the train pulled away.

Billy found himself in an underground chamber held up by ancient columns. He walked toward torchlight coming from a series of statues representing the seven deadly enemies of man: pride, envy, greed, hatred, selfishness, laziness and injustice. At the end of the row, a wizened old man in robes with a flowing beard sat on a stone throne, a globe to one side, a massive book to the other, and a great stone block overhead held by a mere string. The man beckoned, and Billy came closer with great trepidation. Billy kneeled before the figure, and asked “Are you God?”

“Of course not. I am as mortal as you are. What I am is a wizard. Now get up. You don’t bow before wizards.” The wizard knew Billy Batson’s name, among a great many other things, and asked the boy to touch his fingertip. A white-blue snap of electricity confirmed that Billy would do nicely. “I wanted to see if you were filled with good electricity. You are.” The wizard had been a force of good for ages, but he was getting old, and needed a replacement. “I have chosen for you a magic word made from the names of heroes whose powers you will need… Solomon for wisdom. Hercules for strength. Atlas for stamina. Zeus for power. Achilles for courage! Mercury for speed!” Mystical electricity surrounded the pair as the wizard’s words grew more forceful, lifting Billy off his feet. “Say the magic word! BILLY BATSON!! SAY THE MAGIC WORD!!”



“SHAZAM!” With that, Billy disappeared in a bolt of lightning, and a red-garbed hero stood in his place. Static continued to pop around the champion as he solemnly approached the wizard. “Hello, Marvel.”
“Master, I feel strange.”

“You have a new host. A young boy named Billy Batson. He is a good boy. You’ll like him.” The wizard explained that his time was nearly done, but should Marvel need him, he could be contacted by lighting the brazier in the chamber. Marvel warned the wizard not to sit under the stone weight, but his plea was ignored, and the string soon gave out. As the wizard was crushed, Marvel called out, “SHAZAM.”

Flashforward: LaGreen was riffling through Billy’s things, trying to find where he had his money stashed. A voice from behind asked, “Are you still here?” LaGreen was surprised Billy was still conscious, and tried to stomp him again. LaGreen’s leg was caught, and he was forced to the ground. A large, menacing silhouette stood over LaGreen, with a shiny gold lightning bolt at the center. LaGreen freaked out and jumped through a window to escape. After watching LaGreen flee, Marvel turned back to observe of Billy’s room, “Hmmm. This is no way for a kid to live.”

Billy woke up the next morning, found his small stash of bills untouched, and headed downstairs. LaGreen spotted him immediately, and gave chase. Billy ran to a hot dog vender, and gave him all his money to buy breakfast for his friend, Captain Marvel. While the vender prepared the dog, Billy ran off, and LaGreen tried to claim the food as his own. The thug turned to bump into Captain Marvel, who took his hot dog back. “This is your last warning.” LaGreen again ran scared, as Marvel explained to the vendor “He’s a thief who preys on homeless children.” The vendor though Marvel protected them in exchange for hot dogs. “No, but I like hot dogs, and I do not have any of my own money. Could I have mustard and onions on this, please? Don’t you have the onions in the tomato sauce? No? That’s all right. Mmm… you know, I think of all the advancements in civilization I’ve seen so far, hot dogs from a cart might be the very best one!” Captain Marvel wasn’t originally from around here, “But I’m starting to like it.”



Captain Marvel took to the air, using the power of Zeus to fly fast enough to travel through time. In this magical current, Billy appeared to coexist with Captain Marvel, riding on his back toward a point of singularity representing the Big Bang. “As we get closer to the beginning, space and time will merge, forming a perfect field of eternity, the source of all magic!” The wizard lived in the Rock of Eternity, from the peak of which emanated light from the moment of creation. Billy couldn’t resolve the paradox of everything coming from nothing, and wondered about the universe that existed before our creation, but Marvel explained it was forbidden to look into the light at the rock’s peak.

At the entrance to a cave, Marvel led by example. “Take your shoes off. This is a sacred place.” The pair returned to the seven deadly enemies of man, whose eyes were now closed. Skeletal legs still hung from under the stone that crushed the wizard, their feet still resting in slippers set casually on the floor. The spirit of the wizard arose from this space, and asked how Billy was doing. Marvel complained about Billy’s living conditions, and lack of family or friends his own age. Billy protested that since his parents died, he didn’t want some bogus family. The wizard cast a spell, and found that Billy had a baby sister living with an adopted family.

Billy began to cry, and wanted to go home. Before that, Billy needed to learn the rules. For starters, he couldn’t say his magic word at the Rock of Eternity. Marvel explained, “Magic is unpredictable here… time and space are smashed together here-- like in a black hole! I’m your future self!” The wizard continued, “Calling upon the magic here could cause a terrible paradox!” Billy looked stressed and fell silent. “Perhaps you’d like to wait outside for Captain Marvel.”

Marvel had gaps in his memory that would return slowly, and worried about working with such a young boy. “And yet you and he are one. Together you will solve your problems. The seven enemies of man opened their eyes at once, signaling catastrophe. “Take the boy and hurry back to Earth.” Unfortunately, the boy had snuck up to the forbidden peak of the Rock of Eternity…

Billy awoke in his hovel from the sound of police sirens, thinking there might be a terrorist attack. From above, he saw a woman menaced in an alley by a gang. Billy ran down with a baseball bat, only to feel the smack of the tail of an anthropomorphic alligator. Billy called “Shazam,” and a croc shattered its teeth biting Captain Marvel’s head. “Mr. Mind told us all the mammals were soft!” Marvel asked about the gators’ boss.
“He is our beloved leader!”
“ALL HAIL MR. MIND!”
“Do your worst! No monster would ever betray our savior!”
“Death to you, human!”

Captain Marvel prepared to fly the monsters to the authorities, but from above spied two enormous footprints. Mr. Mind was looking for the Captain as Marvel was looking for Mr. Mind…

Chapter 1: “Yroob Szh Z Hvxivg!” was written & drawn by Jeff Smith

Friday, February 4, 2011

2009 Black Lantern Razorsharp design by Joe Prado

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Maybe you've seen the 1994 segment from The Today Show where Bryant Gumbel and Katie Couric try to figure out the internet. How about the 1995 cheeseball epic Hackers? VR.5? The Lawnmower Man? Damn it, I was promised flying cars!

Into this period of wildly inaccurate speculation about a future of virtual reality information superhighways was born Razorsharp, one of the least inspired or inspiring New Bloods, but not for DC's lack of trying. She was introduced in the second Robin annual back before Tim Drake even had his own series, and although instantly forgettable, Razorsharp just would not go away. Raelene Sharp, her T-2000 liquid metal arms, and her team of hackers somehow wrangled their own mini-series in 1995, The Psyba-Rats. I swear I'm not making this up. They even got a two part serial in Showcase '94 to promote it. Razorsharp and her geek squad got to be drawn by Jim Balent in a couple of issues of Catwoman, Peter David featured her in an issue of Young Justice, and more. Razorsharp even had a second team in the Blood Pack, another mini-series for her to co-star in. The chick had inarticulate scissor arms and could work a 56K modem. I fail to see the appeal.

Unlike the deaths of many C-listers close to my heart during Infinite Crisis, I was consoled that at least Razorsharp had finally been put down. Lo and behold, Joe Prado was tasked with resurrecting her in Blackest Night, and for a brief moment, I knew true fear. Then a chuckle, because adding a Black Lantern ring to the tip of one of her pokers is the most interesting thing anyone has ever done with this character. Superboy/man-Prime did her in a second time, and perhaps this long nightmare of '90s cyber-delusion has finally given way to the light of the eBay Farm Sexcapades blog we know the interwebs to truly represent.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The New Flash #1 (June, 1987)



When would people stop calling Wally West "Kid Flash?" He had assumed the mantle of his predecessor, after all.

In New York City, Wally bought $5 worth of lottery tickets and a Baby Ruth candy bar. He returned home to be greeted by a surprise twentieth birthday party, attended by Francis Kane and the New Teen Titans. Wally made a mildly racist comment to Victor "Cyborg" Stone about chitlins, because he's classy like that.

A phone call came in regarding a woman in Seattle in desperate need of a heart transplant. Heavy snow ruled out a replacement being delivered by air, so the Flash agreed to come to the rescue. However, Wally insisted on being awarded health insurance for his trouble, since everyone involved in the procedure was getting paid, and he would be stressing his body to make the delivery in time. The terms were begrudgingly agreed to, with the stipulation that the Flash would continue to offer his services in the future.

Wally learned that the heart recipient was Hugo and Nebula award-winning science fiction author Eugenie Hegstrom, of whom West is a fan. Barry wouldn't have asked for insurance, but he also died owing thousands of dollars in legal fees, and his burial costs were footed by the Justice League. Barry left Wally with only a costume and a picture of what a hero should be.

While dashing through the snow in Colorado, the new Flash happened upon Vandal Savage strangling a private investigator who knew too much to death. The barbaric immortal attacked the Flash, then disappeared. Wally tried to report the crime, but the police didn't buy his story.



The Flash finally delivered the heart to the hospital, then passed out for seventeen hours after his cross-country trek. When he awoke, Wally put down five burgers and four shakes, then chatted with the author he'd helped save.

On the plane ride home, Wally sprained his hand stopping terrorists. His ring left little Flash marks all over their faces. In New York, Wally ate six dinners. Eventually, he was questioned by Denver police about the murder, and was reminded about his fellow Titan Hawk's recent adventure in that neighborhood.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

2009 Black Lantern Ballistic design by Joe Prado

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Artist Joe Prado is selling his zombified redesign of Ballistic from Blackest Night, which begs the question of why one would bother with a such a thing if the character was so irrelevant that he's misidentified in the listing as "Commando?" Do you remember seeing Ballistic in that event, and if so, did you get much of a kick out of it? I obviously have a soft spot for the New Bloods in general, especially guys like Ballistic whose debut annuals weren't terrible and who had a presence in the DC Universe beyond Bloodbath. Part of me wants to get up on my high horse over DC killing another of its very few Asian characters, especially one that wasn't a gross stereotype. On the other hand, the more critically I examine the character, the less potential I see. Hell, Ballistic wasn't even the best Asian New Blood (Nightblade, in case you were wondering.)

Ballistic on the surface looks pretty cool. There aren't any good super-heroes who come to mind who rock the full-on insectoid exoskeleton look (Blue Beetle looks like he's in robo-armor.) You could easily imagine Ballistic as some Guyver-type badass who jumps and maybe bites people with his mandibles and crap. Unfortunately, the exoskeleton is simply a full-body bulletproof vest for a guy who runs around shooting guns with a Rambo headband, basically coming off as a Teriyaki-flavored Cable. This should be obvious from his being named Ballistic, which not only is full of trademark/Google search fail, but was also previously taken by a more famous character who was a member of CyberForce. That's a little like being outshone by the drummer in Quiet Riot. Ballistic was also clearly in the Hong Kong action hero mode, still novel before John Woo overkill set in. Yet, he was bitten by an alien parasite instead of chewing on a matchstick while bullets and doves flew through the air. Bacon-flavored ice cream, anyone?

Could Ballistic have been salvaged? Sure, but so could a '93 Nissan Maxima with an expired engine life. When your origin is common, your generic name taken, and your powers mismatched with your m.o., it's probably best to cut losses and try to see what you can do with the similar Gunfire instead*.


*Vaporize his own ass with his powers, as I recall.