Sunday, January 31, 2010

You Chose The Scenic Route

“I think we’ll prefer the scenic route.  We might as well enjoy ourselves while we’re here, right Metal Men?” Gold said.

His teammates answered in a chorus of enthusiastic yes’s.  (Except Mercury.  The best answer he could give was, “Whatever.”)

“Okay then,” Captain Marvel said, and took Gold aside to give him directions to the Fawcett County Hospital and bid them farewell and wished them good luck.

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and everything seemed very lovely and bucolic, which prompted Platinum to say, “Isn’t this such a bucolic place?” which then lead to a ten-minute discussion between Lead and Iron about what the word ‘bucolic’ meant.

As the Metal Men crested a small hill, something small darted out in front of them from the bushes.

“What was that?” Platinum asked.

Gold looked up ahead.  A little rabbit sat on the lawn on its haunches, wiping at its ears with its forepaws.  “Nothing,” Gold said, “it’s just a rabbit.”  He then froze in his tracks and look at Platinum.

“Get him!” Mercury shouted.

Lead and Iron lurched forward.  The bunny scampered away.  Mercury made a grab for him as he hopped past, and then the bunny launched into full-out predator-prey-panic mode, zigging and zagging over the lawn, and if you’ve ever seen a bunny trying to run away from someone trying to catch it, this’ll make perfect sense to you.

“Wait!” Platinum was saying, “we don’t even know if this is the right rabbit!”

They ignored her.  The bunny swung close to Mercury and he scooped out a hand towards it.  “Ow!  He bit me!”

“What are you saying ‘ow’ for?  You’re a robot!” Tina said.

Mercury ignored her remark and ran after the rabbit, its cotton tail flaring as it hopped frantically away from him.  Lead and Iron were in hot pursuit, and the whole scene would’ve played out a lot better if it were set to that music from the Benny Hill show.

Not wanting to be left out, Gold joined in the chase.  “Wait for me, guys!  I’ll come around to the left and create a diversion and you guys try to herd him back towards me—”

“TIBBAR POTS!” came a woman’s voice.  Gold paused briefly enough to see a dark-haired cloaked woman and then looked back down.  The bunny was frozen, mid-hop.

Mercury skidded to stop and regarded the suspended bunny.  “Well that’s something you don’t see every day.”

Gold turned to the dark-haired woman.  She wore a strange little red hat down the middle of her head.  “Who are you?” he asked.

“I am Zatanna,” she said, “I am here with the Phantom Stranger.  I noticed you chasing that rabbit around and I thought I’d help you.”

“What did you do to him?” Mercury asked.

“Oh, he’s not hurt,” she said.  She bent down and picked him up and handed him to Gold.  “TIBBAR EVOM!” she commanded.  The rabbit started squirming around in Gold’s hands.

Just then, Gold heard a voice above him.  “Hello there, Metal Men!”

“Captain Marvel!” Gold said, “we found Hoppy!”

Captain Marvel flew down and alighted in front of Gold.  He laughed.  “That’s not Hoppy.  We had forgotten Hoppy was down at the local ASPCA giving a speech about the importance of not spaying or neutering pet rabbits.  It seems that I forgot to write it down on my calendar.”

Gold looked down at the squirming rabbit in his arms.  “So who’s this?”

Marvel shrugged.  “I don’t know.  Just some rabbit that lives in the park.  Anyway.  Good news!  Since I didn’t have to go looking for Hoppy I was able to recover your friend’s responsometer!”  He reached over to Gold and handed it over.

“Wonderful!” Gold said.  He went over to Tin and quickly installed the chip.

Tin sat up.  “Wh-wh-where am I?”

“Long story, Tin,” Mercury said.

A wisp of smoke caught Gold’s eye.  It swirled and grew.  A light brighter than the sun flickered and then a shadow appeared in its place.  Out of the shadows stepped the Phantom Stranger.

“Zatanna,” he intoned, “these people are needed.”  He looked over at Captain Marvel.  “I am sending you and your Marvel family to Skartaris.”  Captain Marvel nodded in acknowledgement.  “Gold.  You and your Metal Men are needed elsewhere.”

He stretched out a white, gloved hand and all was blackness.

Continue your adventure here.

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